Thanks for re-posting the article, Trent. We enjoy reading new and different perspectives on the film, so it's always a pleasure to be able to discuss them further. The film just has so much going for it that you really can't cover it all in one take.
There are a few things I'd like to comment on, so I'll quote the relevant bits below and respond right after. Feel free to respond back.
So why does the big screen adaptation of this 8-bit classic come off like the red-headed love-child of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Blade Runner?
The directors had in mind more of a "
Beetlejuice meets
Blade Runner," though the original writers were going for "Ghostbusters." Can't say why the film ended up the way it did, though it is interesting to point out that both TMNT and SMB were shot in Wilmington, NC while David Snyder was the art director on
Blade Runner and the production designer on
Super Mario Bros. Everyone had a vision for the concept.
Luigi may actually be Mario’s adoptive son
Common misconception and one no doubt exacerbated by The Nostalgia Critic. Luigi is simply Mario's much younger brother from their father's second wife; after their parents died Mario took him in and raised him from infancy. Mario did held some resentment against Luigi for that, but this was seen in a subplot filmed yet cut.
Continuing the trend of screwing with everything the video game previously established, Goombas are 8-feet tall and act like high-functioning alcoholics, the actual King of the Dinosaurs is a massive fungus
It should be noted that the Goombas in the original Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 2 and Super Mario World are twice as tall as 'regular' Mario and equal in height to 'Super' Mario. Being 8-feet tall in the film isn't much of a stretch.
Likewise, the King being de-evolved into a fungus is a reference to the kings in Super Mario Bros. 3 being transformed into various plants/animals by Bowser's children.
The audience is simply left with a pervasive series of questions upon conclusion. Why did this disaster deviate so far away from its already well-developed source material?
It's a long and fascinating story, but one that can best be summed up by saying that the original fantasy production for the film was much more faithful, but the director departed and the producers struggled to find a replacement. After 6 months of searching only Rocky and Annabel were willing to come on, but they had a new vision. And here we are.
Did the film makers actually think that King Koopa was a T-Rex?
They didn't think he was an actual representation of a dinosaur, but they did explain their thought-process of why they translated a dragon into one in the
book MicroChips to Movie Stars:
Morton:
"Annabel and I tried to visualize the game as a story, and the first question that came up in our minds was, Who is Koopa?""Who is Koopa? was an interesting question, since the answer--a dragon--was the spark that was needed to develop the story."Annabel:
"There are some theories that perhaps dragons are a thought left over from mankind's early recollections of dinosaurs."Why are they trying to save Princess Daisy and not Peach?
Because Princess "Peach" didn't exist until 1996's Super Mario 64. Before then, the princess was known only as "Toadstool." Daisy was the closest to an actual name they had in available canon.
Didn’t the directors know that a meteorite likely would have completely burned-up in the atmosphere before striking Earth and killing all of the dinosaurs?
It's pretty much a known fact that a meteorite triggered the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. Yes, it did burn-up when entering our atmosphere, but it was still large enough to cause utter catastrophe.
If the Dinosaur dimension has no natural resources where did they get steamed vegetables?
The parallel world
does have some resources, but it's strictly rationed. Koopa, being a dictator, has access to as much food as he wants.
If they can go through the portal between Earth and the dinosaur dimension freely why are they trying to merge the realms?
How would you conquer our world through a tiny portal located underground? One person at a time? Merging the two worlds is much quicker and efficient; plus, Koopa is a megalomaniac.
While the film does have its fair share of problems, I think a lot of its poor reception has more to do with misunderstanding what the filmmakers were attempting and even more what they accomplished. You just need to look at it in the right way to really appreciate it.