Live-tweeting the movie

[cubesquared]

Hi everyone. My name's Leo. I am an an avid gamer, amateur artist, and professional political assistant. I also use twitter way too much. Sometime I watch movies, and I can't help but gush about them (this generally happens when it's a particularly dumb movie I love). It just so happened that the Super Mario Bros. movie was on Family Channel (a Disney sponsored children's channel here in Canada), and I was lucky enough to catch it. Partway through someone from here essentially gave me an internet high five and told me to recount my exploits here on the forums. I hope this will be of interest to someone.

Note: I haven't seen this movie since I first saw it in theatres. I would have been about eight. I was also typing really fast while watching, so there are a lot of typos, and a few inconsistencies with the movie (specifically the thing I thought was the Devo gun and Koopa's line to Daisy come to mind), so please, bear with me.

If anyone wants to follow on Twitter, even after this fiasco, I can be found at http://www.twitter.com/chaicube I normally tweet about my daily life, video games, Torontonian municipal politics, and on the off chance, totally sweet movies.

2011-01-17 09:02:27
chaicube: GUYS GUYS HOLY SHIT NO JOKE THE SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE IS ON FAMILY CHANNEL RIGHT FREAKING NOW. SHALL WE ALL WATCH? THE ANSWER IS YES.

2011-01-17 09:04:25
chaicube: LIVE TWEET COMMENCING. FACEBOOK ACCESS (HOPEFULLY) SHUTTING DOWN. GUYS, AS A FINAL REMINDER< SUPER MARIO BROS.

2011-01-17 09:05:30
chaicube: First off, I'm so glad this was long ago enough that Bowser was still called Koopa

2011-01-17 09:05:44
chaicube: Nuns don't give a fuck that babies come out of eggs

2011-01-17 09:07:04
chaicube: Anything's possible Mario, you just gotta believe! ... Parappa how did you get in this movie?

2011-01-17 09:08:18
chaicube: University students have shut down a major development because they're looking for fossils. This was back when student protests mattered

2011-01-17 09:08:57
chaicube: CEO of this evil company is insinuating that he's a rapist, I think.

2011-01-17 09:09:08
chaicube: There is a man trying to snort two hot dogs or something.

2011-01-17 09:10:40
chaicube: Man walks into pane of glass, gets head-poked by his cohort. They're sort of mixing up their Charlie Chaplins and their Three Stooges.

2011-01-17 09:11:16
chaicube: "Hi, this is Daisy" oooh, so close.

2011-01-17 09:13:41
chaicube: "It's a pleasure to meet me! Um, you!" Luigi is every shitty romantic comedy ever.

2011-01-17 09:14:56
chaicube: The meteor who "killed ALL the dinosaurs" fell in Brooklyn.

2011-01-17 09:15:54
chaicube: They are at a Italian restaurant with checkered tablecloth, Mario is a huge plumber, Luigi is a greaser, O Sole Mio is playing. #stereotypes

2011-01-17 09:17:03
chaicube: WAIT HOLY SHIT ONE OF THE EVIL HENCHMEN IS PLAYED BY THE PLAGUE. IT'S LIKE ALL MY FAVOURITE THINGS ARE COMING TOGETHER #DESTINY

2011-01-17 09:19:22
chaicube: "It's almost as if it were a monster, trying to be a human being, it's beautiful!" "You're beautiful" *interruptedkissytime*

2011-01-17 09:20:35
chaicube: Good thing the bad guys decided to force the researchers away in a way that only plumbers can fix, by springing a slight leak.

2011-01-17 09:21:18
chaicube: To clarify how minor this leak is, Luigi went all the way home and came back to fix it, and the water hasn't leaked out of the pump room

2011-01-17 09:21:59
chaicube: I've been listening to pipes all my life! It's this way! No wait it's a dead end!

2011-01-17 09:22:56
chaicube: Totally forgot that luigi's little pin face thing was foreshadowing the oldschool CG face wall

2011-01-17 09:23:41
chaicube: This movie should be Super Luigi Brothers, Mario seems to be there just to have a fat guy.

2011-01-17 09:25:24
chaicube: 90's Dystopian Futures are pretty much Bladerunner/Half-Life with more neon colours.

2011-01-17 09:26:04
chaicube: Everyone is covered with spikes, everythign else is covered with extraneous pipes and bright lights

2011-01-17 09:26:55
chaicube: This movie is actually legit well made. Not even fucking kidding.

2011-01-17 09:28:53
chaicube: Oscar award winning actor Dennis Hopper is the bad guy.

2011-01-17 09:29:23
chaicube: Evil old lady alert, EVIL OLD LADY ALERT.

2011-01-17 09:29:36
chaicube: Called it. Taser cane!

2011-01-17 09:30:20
chaicube: An old lady just got thrown over a balcony by a big fat black lady, and caused a bumper car accident. This is the best movie.

2011-01-17 09:32:27
chaicube: The big fat black lady represents the big fish from Mario 3. Specifically: http://bit.ly/hbJxxS = http://bit.ly/f08FNV

2011-01-17 09:33:39
chaicube: Someone just stuck a nozzle down the front of Mario's pants and sprayed gas in. My dreams have come true.

2011-01-17 09:35:10
chaicube: Fuck, just realized, once wanted to write a story about alternate dimensions fighting over limited resources; these guys beat me to it =(

2011-01-17 09:36:28
chaicube: Even the tissue boxes in the mushroom kingdom have spikes on them. I love this movie so much.

2011-01-17 09:37:00
chaicube: Koopa is a self-acclaimed "Evil eggsucking son of a snake".

2011-01-17 09:37:29
chaicube: Face-morphing technology is something I miss about the 90's.

2011-01-17 09:38:16
chaicube: Oh no, Toad turned into a goomba! =( Also, this movie must have scared the shit out of me as a kid.

2011-01-17 09:40:14
chaicube: I WANT A REAL LIFE BOB-OMB. SHIT

2011-01-17 09:41:02
chaicube: At some point, by the way, dinosaurs evolved skin, and you can "de-evolve" their heads to turn them into goombas. Did I mention I love this?

2011-01-17 09:42:10
chaicube: Sitting on your butt playing video games all day makes you know how to operate future cars with archaic levers. Also causes stupid movies.

2011-01-17 09:42:55
chaicube: This is the most totally badass police car I have ever seen. It has like a snow plough on top of it, a zillion lights, and a bumper car rig

2011-01-17 09:45:30
chaicube: "Hey the fungus just saved us! The tunnel just sneezed us out and this giant booger caught us."

2011-01-17 09:46:54
chaicube: This seems like Ulillillia's mud dreams right here "You know what I love about mud? It's clean and dirty at the same time *orgasm face*"

2011-01-17 09:49:07
chaicube: Why doesn't Koopa use the evolving ray on all of his cronies to make them smart instead of the de-evolving ray?

2011-01-17 09:49:30
chaicube: RT @smbmovie: @chaicube Yes! Everyone should watch. Get your friends to join you!

2011-01-17 09:49:54
chaicube: "She smuggled you to the other side. Then she died"

2011-01-17 09:52:27
chaicube: The Plague is now super smart, I'm pretty sure that this is a prequel to Hackers #hacktheplanet

2011-01-17 09:52:55
chaicube: Guys, @smbmovie is probably the best twitter ever.

2011-01-17 09:53:26
chaicube: Koopa is a huge rapist. How is this a kids movie. Also, Yoshi is played by Gon

2011-01-17 09:54:15
chaicube: "You know what they say about little girls: they never forget the first time they kiss a lizard. Take her away, I'll need to.. use her later

2011-01-17 09:55:00
chaicube: Did I mention that Luigi has a rainbow belt? He has a rainbow belt. But now he's topless.

2011-01-17 09:55:51
chaicube: Why are the "smart" bad guys telling the Marios the entire plot? Also "Where's Daisy, buttbreath!"

2011-01-17 09:56:19
chaicube: "This lady in red took the rock" "Was she corpulent? Very very corpulent?"

2011-01-17 09:58:08
chaicube: Snifits are future garbagemen in creepy bondage masks. Makes sense, they were halfway there already. http://bit.ly/dRP6s2

2011-01-17 09:58:31
chaicube: The brother seem to be eternally in the wrong colour. Red Luigi and Green mario before, now red luigi and yellow mario

2011-01-17 09:59:35
chaicube: Mark of being a lizard in this movie is doing the shaking head effect, apparently. http://bit.ly/hMjFTC

2011-01-17 10:00:06
chaicube: Mario is trying to seduce the big fat black lady. "Excuse me, will you hit me again?"

2011-01-17 10:00:28
chaicube: Uhh.. "Dance with me, I'll hit you all you like". This is a kids movie, or at least it's being shown on Family Channel.

2011-01-17 10:01:19
chaicube: Mario just tried to bite the necklace off her boobs. Now she is rubbing up against him. This is so gross. I want to puke.

2011-01-17 10:02:53
chaicube: "EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR, EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR"

2011-01-17 10:03:25
chaicube: Suddenly the fat lady is a good guy, and the Marios have "stompers", which give them super flying powers. It's fucking on.

2011-01-17 10:04:31
chaicube: Actual dialogue with no gaps in between: "Cops!" "Goombas!" "The rock!" "Daisy!" "The tower!" "Dump truck!"

2011-01-17 10:05:49
chaicube: King Toadstool scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. He is like a slimey anus. No picture, sorry.

2011-01-17 10:06:38
chaicube: King Koopa just ordered a pizza, in case you forgot this is the 90's. Pizza had dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms.

2011-01-17 10:07:18
chaicube: "How we gonna get up? ""LIKE MARIOS. INGENIOUSLY."

2011-01-17 10:07:39
chaicube: Oh shit, suit up with the Mario gear. It's super fucking on now.

2011-01-17 10:08:59
chaicube: King Koopa is an angry neurotic little whiner, who kicks his woman around. Seriously, this is a Hackers prequel.

2011-01-17 10:10:06
chaicube: Goomba dance. I almost forgot about this. Guys. Goombas are dancing. to like polka music. http://youtu.be/K7Yb11NBlQs

2011-01-17 10:11:34
chaicube: Shit, Yoshi just used tongue power, then got stabbed by evil bitch!

2011-01-17 10:13:11
chaicube: Oh god, they just set Toad on fire, this must have been the scariest movie

2011-01-17 10:14:24
chaicube: Daisy, the dad you've been looking for for all your life is a slimey ball that falls out of a ceiling butt.

2011-01-17 10:15:09
chaicube: The goomba dance trick worked because according to Luigi, everyone loves to dance, even with lizards.

2011-01-17 10:15:58
chaicube: Just want to say that ziplines and trampolines are NOT Mario mechanics. If you're going to have silly cartoony stunts, at least be accurate

2011-01-17 10:16:44
chaicube: Daisy apparently believes the two bad guys who kidnapped her when they tell her her dad is a big pile of goo on a chair.

2011-01-17 10:17:44
chaicube: Did you see that? The mushroom is trying to communicate! *rips mushroom out*

2011-01-17 10:19:30
chaicube: Daisy is a stark raving lunatic now, smiling like a crazy person while introducing her father the suspended booger.

2011-01-17 10:19:57
chaicube: Koopa to Daisy: "I'll meet you in the playground after school" My god, every line is rapetown

2011-01-17 10:20:07
chaicube: Lena just walked into the intro to Half-Life 2

2011-01-17 10:22:16
chaicube: Everyone wants to rape Daisy, that Bertha is an abusive slut, and Lena is evil, insane and gets tased. Director has serious lady issues

2011-01-17 10:24:01
chaicube: I like how Mario has to turn around and say "Goombas!" in case the audience didn't get that by now. Also ducking under spikes is legit.

2011-01-17 10:25:13
chaicube: Koopa seems to be at THWOMP company, other signs read Bullet Bill's and Hammer Bros. Amazing sets, seriously.

2011-01-17 10:25:48
chaicube: The jumping ammo look like Bullet Bills too. Nice touch.

2011-01-17 10:26:33
chaicube: The De-Evolution needs to be pumped manually like a Super Soaker, the 90s rock. Also it shoots out fire.

2011-01-17 10:27:38
chaicube: "Who are you?" "Luigi Mario, you gotta problem wit' dat?"

2011-01-17 10:27:58
chaicube: The evil bitch is now in a red robe running around with hair sticking straight out of her head. She is Eve from Parasite Eve.

2011-01-17 10:29:08
chaicube: Bob-omb is super adorable. I love it.

2011-01-17 10:30:41
chaicube: Oh god, inserting the last meteorite piece into the meteor shot the evil bitch so hard against the wall she was reduced to a skeleton.

2011-01-17 10:31:03
chaicube: HA HA HA HA HA WE'RE MERGIIIIING

2011-01-17 10:31:39
chaicube: UH. ONE OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTRE BUILDINGS JUST MELTED.

2011-01-17 10:32:17
chaicube: THE DEVO GUN IS A SUPER SCOPE. OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING.

2011-01-17 10:32:43
chaicube: Mario just beat the bad guy by throwing a really big mushroom at him.

2011-01-17 10:34:25
chaicube: The goombas have been defeated by dancing. Also, Luigi is mad jumping while dual wielding super scopes.

2011-01-17 10:34:46
chaicube: Oh god, Koopa's transformation scene is another thing that would've scared the shit out of me.

2011-01-17 10:35:06
chaicube: Bob-oms wear Reeboks. Thank good for product placement.

2011-01-17 10:35:42
chaicube: Yeah, honestly, you didn't think de-evloging a guy who said his ancestors were T-Rexes was a bad idea?

2011-01-17 10:36:36
chaicube: Gay flying bro-hug over the cheering crowd, who are very happy the Mario Bros blew up the president they apparently elected.

2011-01-17 10:38:03
chaicube: Daisy's staying to get to know her father. Five bucks says Luigi stays. Mario explains everyone's feelings for the audience.

2011-01-17 10:39:02
chaicube: Nice touch that the scary dead lady is still embedded in the wall.

2011-01-17 10:39:46
chaicube: "I'd call them the SUPER Mario brothers"

2011-01-17 10:40:11
chaicube: OH SHIT SEQUEL HOOK, WHY WASN'T THERE A SEQUEL? ISN'T THAT HOW THESE THINGS WORK? FUCK

2011-01-17 10:44:08
chaicube: is concluding tonight's live tweet. What an awesome movie. #fb people can catch up at http://www.twitter.com/chaicube

2011-01-17 10:45:20
chaicube: OH SHIT, JAPANESE BUSINESSMEN AT THE END WANT TO MAKE A GAME OUT OF THIS MOVIE, NEVER SEEN THAT PART.

2011-01-17 10:46:52
chaicube: @ichin I.. think I really enjoyed that movie, I don't know anymore. I'm very confused.

2011-01-17 10:48:02
chaicube: is having honest problems separating what he likes seriously and what he likes out of irony; needs to buy this DVD now either way.

2011-01-17 10:49:42
chaicube: feels everyone on twitter should be following @smbmovie , who is apparently just the coolest guy. Now if I could just find a Hackers guy...

2011-01-17 10:55:15
chaicube: loves that people follow him for serious political reasons, and just got barraged by like a hundred tweets about the Mario movie.

[1upmushroom]

Best. Live-tweet. (Though I will admit I don't read tweets often.) Ever! I hope you do another! It was really funny.

[Redstar]

Hey there, Chaicube. Glad you took up my offer to join the board and post your entire live-tweet of the movie. It was great following your comments throughout the movie's airing, even if Twitter wouldn't allow for your full thoughts.

I'll comment on only a select few, but I'm sure someone else might have something to say for some of the other ones.

2011-01-17 09:05:30
chaicube: First off, I'm so glad this was long ago enough that Bowser was still called Koopa

"Bowser" actually existed at the time, but the writers opted to use "Koopa" instead because it was a better "bad guy" name. It really does sound cooler.

2011-01-17 09:14:56
chaicube: The meteor who "killed ALL the dinosaurs" fell in Brooklyn.

I'm pretty sure at the time they weren't completely sure where the meteor hit (it's now known to be South America, right?) but the idea of it not being Brooklyn was a known certainty. I prefer to think Brooklyn just happened to have one portal of many.

2011-01-17 09:19:22
chaicube: "It's almost as if it were a monster, trying to be a human being, it's beautiful!" "You're beautiful" *interruptedkissytime*

Her line up until that point actually is one of my favorites of the entire movie.

2011-01-17 09:25:24
chaicube: 90's Dystopian Futures are pretty much Bladerunner/Half-Life with more neon colours.

2011-01-17 09:26:04
chaicube: Everyone is covered with spikes, everythign else is covered with extraneous pipes and bright lights

2011-01-17 09:26:55
chaicube: This movie is actually legit well made. Not even fucking kidding.

The set design for the movie was pretty awesome. I love those spikes and neon lights.

2011-01-17 09:42:55
chaicube: This is the most totally badass police car I have ever seen. It has like a snow plough on top of it, a zillion lights, and a bumper car rig

We have some design artwork for the car on the site here, actually.

2011-01-17 10:05:49
chaicube: King Toadstool scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. He is like a slimey anus. No picture, sorry.

According to the novelization and several promotional sources the King's name is "Bowser." Weird.

2011-01-17 10:06:38
chaicube: King Koopa just ordered a pizza, in case you forgot this is the 90's. Pizza had dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms.

I'm pretty sure this is a dig at Ninja Turtles.

2011-01-17 10:15:58
chaicube: Just want to say that ziplines and trampolines are NOT Mario mechanics. If you're going to have silly cartoony stunts, at least be accurate

Actually, the original Super Mario Bros., it's sequel and Super Mario World all had trampolines.

2011-01-17 10:40:11
chaicube: OH SHIT SEQUEL HOOK, WHY WASN'T THERE A SEQUEL? ISN'T THAT HOW THESE THINGS WORK? FUCK

A sequel will come soon enough.