Redstar wrote:Sounds good. Hitchhiker's is a good format to emulate, so show us what you got!
Well I can't really emulate Hitchhiker's perfectly, I'm mostly trying
to emulate Hitchhiker's.
Prologue: Preparing for the Trip.
I am often a forgetful person. I’ve forgotten many things, my birthday, my dog, my homework, my girlfriend’s birthday, all that stuff has escaped my mind. I even forget sometimes that I live in a dull and violent city named “Pleasure City”. But this, this I couldn’t forget, not in a million years. It’s too crazy, too psychotic, too weird a tale to be forgotten, and that’s saying a lot since I live in a world where videogame characters are real! I’ve tried for hours and I still can’t believe any of this happened! But as a friend said, “In order to keep your sanity about certain events, you must acknowledge that they happened.”
And, since I think this the best form of acknowledgement, I might as well explain what happened. What’s amazing is that these events were so powerful that I was able to remember every…single…solitary…thing that happened so this’ll be a breeze. Anyway, it all started with a legend, a drink, and two people willing to prove that certain legend as fact.
This as you guessed, is that story. It all began in the 1up bar, a place where videogame characters and regular people often met to drink all their worries down the drain. However many people often went there to watch the videogame characters beat the living crap out of each other. Yeah it was one of those places, a Slum-shroom as I like to call it…yeah I know I’m not funny.
Anyway, today was an unusually peaceful day there. I had just entered the bar; looking as confident as I could muster while trying to not look like a poser. I didn’t succeed, after cruising through a bunch of ladies who scoffed at my appearance I made it to the stools and sat down. I looked at the bartender, who merely gave me my usual drink as I handed him the money. The drink was ice cold as was the glass that held it. My eyes barely stayed open as I laid my head on my hand.
It was there that everything in my life would change. Normally I’d just sleep, go back to the office, go home, try to get my girlfriend back for 45th time, go to sleep, and then wake up to start the cycle all over again. However, that all changed when someone sat on a stool right next to me. I looked up and my eyes widened. The man was a short person with a circle like appearance. His eyes were completely black, his skin was light yellow, and his gloves and boots were cherry red.
Before I could utter a word he talked very sincerely, ‘’What’s with you?”
I sighed and raised my head, “Oh nothing, just had a drink that’s all.”
“Must be a strong drink.”
“Yeah, so uh, how are you Mr. Pac-Man?”
Pac-Man sighed and slipped 4 gold coins to the bartender.
“Not good,” he said, “I’ve been trying to get some heavy cash.”
Pac-Man got his drink and sipped it. “I’m going on a trip.”
“Trip, what trip?”
He sipped some more and looked at me. “Do you like Pleasure City?”
I was caught off guard by this, I looked at the cold glass. “Eh, it’s ok.”
“Well, to be honest, I don’t like it much.”
“It’s too gloom and doom for my taste. For a while I’ve been tolerant of this city, always walking down the muddy streets, looking at all the thieves and scammers, but by now I’ve had enough. I’m leaving here no matter what! Unfortunately where I’m going is a long way away. I need a vehicle, I need food, I need clothes, but most of all I need money! I have food, clothes, and a vehicle, but without money I may as well walk on foot.”
“The vehicles almost out of fuel and I only have about 13 coins left.”
Pac-Man then sipped more of the drink and looked at me again.
“So, what about you, Are you going anywhere?”
I then sat up straight and proudly said, “I’m going to the next annual Mario Kart race!”
Pac-Man nodded, “Hmm, that’s not a cheap event, I wish I could see it.”
Then, I stopped and looked at Pac-Man. For some reason I thought he was trying to scam me into buying him a ticket for the race.
“For some reason, I think you’re scamming me into buying you to a ticket for the race.”
Pac-Man raised an eyebrow, I then blushed and tried to drink from an empty glass.
“Listen buddy,” he said, “I don’t scam people into buying me a ticket.”
“I’m sorry I just get paranoid sometimes.”
“Why shouldn’t you? Not a lot of people are honest around here.”
I looked at my watch, 15 minutes until lunch break is over.
“You know,’’ I said, “You never told me where it is you’re going.”
“That’s mostly because it may not even exist anymore.”
Oh great, I thought, he’s on a wild goose chase.
“Uh, what is this supposedly fake place?”
Pac-Man finished his drink and looked at me, “Pac-Land, that’s what.”
My eyes widened, “You’re going there?”
“Yep, but like I said, it may not exist and even then I need money.”
I then thought about the money I had planned for that ticket. I was single at the time, and I really had nothing in Pleasure City to leave behind.
“Hey Pac-Man” I said, “Would you mind making this a trip for two?”
Pac-Man looked at me in amazement, “You want to come with me? But what about your ticket?”
“I haven’t bought it yet, and besides you could use about 678 coins.”
Pac-Man then sighed and seemed to be in thought.
“Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t feel like endangering someone else if this turns out to be all for not.”
“Listen Pac-Man, I’m a nobody. No one cares about me now, and they won’t care about me when I die so I might as well go out with a bang.”
Pac-Man sighed, “Well, at least think about it will you?”
Pac-Man then got up and left the 1up bar, while looking at a scrap between Mega Man and Bomber Man. I merely walked to the scrap and observed. It was pretty intense as body parts soon started coming off. Bomber Man then shoved a bomb in Mega Man’s mouth. The explosion was mild as Bomber Man raised his arms in victory. I found 7 coins on the floor all alone. I picked them up and stuffed them in my pocket.
I left the bar and went to my motorcycle that my mom got me. She said it was a chick magnet but it was actually a chick repellent. The cycle was rusted beyond belie, there were constant stickers that said stuff like: “Crack is WHACK!!!”, plus the cycle felt uncomfortable while riding. This was obviously given to me so I wouldn’t pick up a “dirty girl” as mom called them. I started it up and in 13 minutes was back at the office.
The office was gray and dull, with people coming in and out looking sad and soulless. I sighed; this obviously wasn’t my idea of fun. That Pac-Land trip was looking good about now so I said “Screw it,” walked in, walked to the boss’s office, took a pen, drew on a piece of paper saying “I QUIT”, took my payday check and left, leaving my job behind. Well, that’s one less thing I had at Pleasure City, but I still had my ex-girlfriend.
I phoned her up and spoke to her, “So, you came crawling back to me again?” She said.
“I just wanted to say I’m going on a trip and that I’ll probably never talk to you again, bye.”
I hung up on her and walked to my motorcycle. She called me and said “DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?!”
I said, “I don’t know did it sound like this?”
I hung up on her again and got on my motorcycle. While riding around I looked around and could see what Pac-Man was talking about. There were lots of gloom and doom here. No one smiled at anything and thousands of messages claiming “the end of the world” were everywhere. It was very depressing, and then I saw people like Donkey Kong throwing barrels at windows and Boo ghosts scaring children. It was insane here. Now I definitely knew I was getting out of here. At my house, which was basically a 2 room apartment, I got out the phone book and found Pac-Man’s phone number. After a quick dial up, I had Pac-Man.
“Yes?” Pac-Man said,
“Pac-Man, I’m the guy from the 1up bar and I made my decision. I’m going with you to Pac-Land if you want me.”
“I’ve never been more sure!”
“Uh, alright, how many coins do you have in total though?”
“I just collected 3,000 an hour ago so that would make…7,000 coins.”
“Amazing, I think that’s more than enough for the budget.”
“So when do we go?”
“I’d say tomorrow at the 1up bar and hey-”
“What’s your name kid?”
I stood proudly even though he didn’t see me.
“You can call me……………ClassicLuigiFan!”
There was a long pause, “Uh, you sure you want to go by that name?”
“Yes, it’s my nickname.”
“Ok, ClassicLuigiFan it is.”