The First Rebel, an SMB Prequel

[1upmushroom]

Well this version is kind of different as here he's half human, half snake.

[Serum]

Interesting idea, but I would change the word "snake" to "viper," or "python" or some other cool word that can substitute "snake."

[1upmushroom]

Interesting idea, but I would change the word "snake" to "viper," or "python" or some other cool word that can substitute "snake."

Well in the fic it clearly states his ancestor is a cobra.

[Serum]

Yeah, that works, go with cobra. It's a little close to the whole "GI Joe" villain organization, though, but it works.

[1upmushroom]

Ok, anyway like I said I need help with the monologues the Rebel does. I feel the last one I did never added much. Any advice?

[Serum]

I'll have to review it when I get some time, I'm very busy between writing a new book for Eraserhead Press, writing a new fan-sequel to "Super Mario Bros." and updating and maintaining threads in general, but I promise I'll look at it when I can.

[1upmushroom]

I'll have to review it when I get some time, I'm very busy between writing a new book for Eraserhead Press, writing a new fan-sequel to "Super Mario Bros." and updating and maintaining threads in general, but I promise I'll look at it when I can.

Is the book about that project you were talking about? The one where you said you'd make a story out of the first 3 drafts of SMB? Or is it a different one? If it is then I'd love to hear it.

[Serum]

I'll have to review it when I get some time, I'm very busy between writing a new book for Eraserhead Press, writing a new fan-sequel to "Super Mario Bros." and updating and maintaining threads in general, but I promise I'll look at it when I can.

Is the book about that project you were talking about? The one where you said you'd make a story out of the first 3 drafts of SMB? Or is it a different one? If it is then I'd love to hear it.

It's part one of an anti-establishment bizarro trilogy that will eventually give way to me writing a more serious cyberpunk book (very loosely) based on the second Ian la Francis & Dick Clement draft (the hardcore "Mad Max" one, not the campy "Batman & Robin" or as some have called it "Die Hard" one) and moreover, the initial Terry Runte/Parker Bennett script that was heavily influenced by "Ghostbusters," however this story will remove all references to Nintendo characters and focus more on an original story that I have created.

But we're getting off topic, this is your story, so let's talk about your story.

[1upmushroom]

Chapter 4: A step into the new age.

Well, we’re off to the ware house, where Wario’s wife Mona and his son are going to be. Wario said she fixed up the place. All I really know right now however, are two things. One, we’re going to be far away from the central part of the city, which in a way is good, because that’s where all the cops are. However, the second thing I know is that I got to be very careful around Wario’s wife, Mona. Anything can set her off, clothes, attitudes, food, certain kinds of alcohol, anything. So that’ll be my main challenge right now. Hmm, we’re here, that was quick.

The car stopped at a very run down place in a very run down town named “Petals-Burg”. The place wasn’t even that huge. It was about 9ft wide and 20ft tall, and its colour was brown. It was obvious this warehouse hasn’t been used in years. The Rebel got out of the car and just stood beside the car waiting for Wario to make the move. Wario walked up to the warehouse and knocked rather harshly. The door opened to reveal Wario’s wife Mona.

“Well,” She said, “You’re out.”

“Yep,” Wario said as he smirked,

“That’s it?” Mona said, a little shocked at how casually Wario said, “Just yep?”

“Yeah, so, uh are you going to let us in?”

“So basically, you impregnate me, belittle me, push me around, abandon me and the kid for a long, and you expect me to welcome you with open arms?”

“Uh, yeah pretty much.”

“You’re an asshole,” Mona said with disgust,

Wario grabbed her on her waist and kissed her very aggressively. At first, Mona started to back off, but slowly started getting in it as she grabbed Wario’s waist as well. When they first stopped, the Rebel noticed that her tongue was also snakelike. After they stopped, he pushed her aside and walked in. The Rebel got the supplies out of the car and walked through the door. He stopped and looked at Mona, trying to greet her when she hissed at him and he kept walking. The main centre of the warehouse was actually quite huge, if it wasn’t for a couple of rusted cars still around and the fact that many of the so called “rooms” they’ll be staying in were mainly storage rooms and offices; this would’ve made for a decent home.

The Rebel stopped at an office and chose it as his main quarters. It was average, had a decent sleeping area, a desk, two cabinets, a place to his supplies and a little TV on the desk. After dropping his stuff on the floor, the Rebel sat at the desk and turned the TV. Since the TV had no remote, he had to press the little odd buttons on the TV itself. There were thousands of shows on, but the Rebel just put it on the news.

“And now for today’s special announcement from one of the king's noble knights Koopa,” The Newscaster said in a monotone voice,

Royal knight huh? Didn't Koopa use to be an advisor? Hmm

The TV then showed a very busy public area in the middle of the town square. The King was there, sitting on a rather expensive looking chair while having a “I really wish I could just out of here” look on his face. Koopa was the important one, as he was on the podium, waving people, wearing an obvious plastered on smile, and often greeting people. His hair was as usual tidy and clean, with that little taint of red colour on it. His eyebrows were very shifty and his eyes themselves were kind of hypnotic.

After a couple of seconds, Koopa raised his hands as the audience finally quieted down.

“Fellow citizens, brothers, sisters, everyone, first I’d like to say thanks for coming to this public meeting and that I’ll get right to the point. For a while now, there have been rumours of a secret weapon we’ve supposedly worked on for the past 3 decades. It was said that this so called weapon was designed to mutate it’s victims into thin air. This weapon was also said to have been mobile and would have the power to annihilate this entire city. Well, this proves you don’t trust the damn tabloids."

A small laugh emerged as Koopa continued,

“However, I’m here to put these rumours behind and tell you the truth. Yes, we’ve been working n a secret project. However, it’s not a weapon; it’s a step into the new age.”

Much to the crowd’s confusion Koopa pressed on, this time he started walking, getting into his speech.

“Many of you’ve heard of evolution right? Constantly changing, upgrading during the ages of time. Well, what if I said we’ve found a way to somehow figure out the physics of evolution and have created a machine to perform the notion itself?”

Everyone gasped in surprise as Koopa continued on again.

“Imagine, sitting on a comfortable seat, thinking pleasant thoughts when a nice bright light comes at you. It takes 4 minutes but it feels like 10 seconds. Then, after you wake up you feel like a new person. What do you mean you say? Well just think of the possibilities! Clearer vision, better strength, stronger skin, there’s no end to the many things that’ll evolve. The need for vaccines will decrease, minor injuries will be things of the past, no one will need cars since we’ll have huge amounts of energy to run, and things like forklifts will no longer exist since we’ll be able to pick up about 600 pounds of things!”

The crowd was incredibly mesmerized as Koopa finally sighed,

“Any questions?”

One arm shot up, “Koopa, when we be able to experience this new marvel?”

“Well you see we’re still working on some bugs. During several tests we’ve found that the machine would only evolve minor things like a sense of vocabulary, eye sight, but not the entire specimen. Also, exactly what the machine would evolve is a mystery too since out of all the test subjects we used, each one was evolved differently. So after we’ve fixed these problems then we’ll reveal them machine to the public.”

Another arm shot up,

“Yes.”

“Sir, you’ve said this machine could evolve subjects. But, have you ever thought of including a function that could de-evolve a subject?”

Koopa sighed, “Yes, however we decided after some concepts to somehow include this ability into a gun. These will be used by the cops as a means to dispose of criminals. However there are some complications. The fact that we’ve spent almost 30 years on building this machine proves how difficult a project of this magnitude is. Plus, cop guns have been stolen many times. We can’t risk the idea of these guns being stolen too. One more question.”

An arm shot up, “Sir, have you ever thought that maybe this could backfire on our race? Like if we used this technology, nature will come and make us regret it some day?”

“That thought has come up once in a while. But the creator of the machine Simon; has done some calculations and has proven this concern is very unlikely to happen. Now dear citizens, I bid you adieu.”

The Rebel then turned the TV off and sat in the desk.

Well, that was interesting.

(end of chapter)

[Redstar]

Okay, I just read through most of this. It's a solid idea, but you need to lose the Wario character. If Wario is the parallel alternate of Mario, who is supposed to be 35 in the finished film, then going back in time by twenty years would make Mario and Wario only fifteen years old.

I don't agree that Wario should be removed since this is 1upmushroom's own take on both the film and game universes. If he feels Wario can work in the story he wants to tell then he's a suitable character.

However, it might be best to change his name. It's important to realize that many of the names in the film are completely original or mix-and-matched. It would hew more closely to the themes of the film if Wario was only loosely inspired by his game-counterpart, but ultimately different in name.


As far as the new chapter, I like it. Koopa's presentation of the devo technology is nice. I don't totally get a grasp of Koopa's ruthless personality or sinister motivations, but it's clear that everyone is stupid. I like that.

[superwesleybros]

Wario should stay and keep the name Wario, it makes things interesting.

Nice story you got here. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest 1up. keep it up.

[1upmushroom]

Well I just posted this on Fan Fiction.

http://m.fanfiction.net/s/7706764/1/ Hopefully more people will like it.

[superwesleybros]

Fan Art of a Fan Fic! Just for you 1upmushroom.

[1upmushroom]

OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD! THAT IS AWESOME!!! Is the girl supposed to be Mona? That was amazing! The only real criticism I can give is that it's kind of lighthearted and doesn't really protray the bleak grimness of the Fiction. But then again, since this was based off of 80s/90s movies, I guess it fits!

[superwesleybros]

OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodOHMYGOD! THAT IS AWESOME!!! Is the girl supposed to be Mona? That was amazing! The only real criticism I can give is that it's kind of lighthearted and doesn't really protray the bleak grimness of the Fiction. But then again, since this was based off of 80s/90s movies, I guess it fits!

The Girl is actually Supposed to be Daisy's mom that's a picture of Samantha Mathis. I picked the desert background to fit with the prison at the beginning. but I'm glad you liked it.

[1upmushroom]

The Girl is actually Supposed to be Daisy's mom that's a picture of Samantha Mathis. I picked the desert background to fit with the prison at the beginning. but I'm glad you liked it.

I loved it! I should totally use this on other forums to promote the fan fic!

[superwesleybros]

I loved it! I should totally use this on other forums to promote the fan fic!

Go right ahead, you have my permission.

[Redstar]

Well I just posted this on Fan Fiction. Hopefully more people will like it.

Hopefully so. Be sure to let us know if you do get any comments over there.

Fan Art of a Fan Fic! Just for you 1upmushroom.

That was really cool of you, SWB. It must have taken you a good while to put that together, but it really does look good. I can really imagine it visualizing "The Last Rebel" characters well.

[1upmushroom]

That was really cool of you, SWB. It must have taken you a good while to put that together, but it really does look good. I can really imagine it visualizing "The Last Rebel" characters well.

Um it's called the First Rebel.

[superwesleybros]

That was really cool of you, SWB. It must have taken you a good while to put that together, but it really does look good. I can really imagine it visualizing "The Last Rebel" characters well.

Yeah this took me about four hours. I may make some alternates too. Making Wario, "The Rebel" and Young Koopa were awesome. it's hard to tell but Koopa has spiky hair.

[1upmushroom]

Yeah this took me about four hours. I may make some alternates too. Making Wario, "The Rebel" and Young Koopa were awesome. it's hard to tell but Koopa has spiky hair.

If you do make alternates I suggest a more bleaker one that fits the tone a little better.

[superwesleybros]

If you do make alternates I suggest a more bleaker one that fits the tone a little better.

Will do, Is there any other characters you want me to add in?

[1upmushroom]

If you do make alternates I suggest a more bleaker one that fits the tone a little better.

Will do, Is there any other characters you want me to add in?

Well, in the First Rebel, I had Jack Nicolson in mind when writing for Koopa, plus I'd remove Daisy's mother as she doesn't play an important role yet. Maybe replace her with Mona. Plus I wouldn't mind if Harrison Ford looked a bit like he did in Blade Runner, aince that's where the inspiration of the Rebel came from.

I kknow that sounds like a lot so you don't have to put in everything I request.

[superwesleybros]

Well, in the First Rebel, I had Jack Nicolson in mind when writing for Koopa, plus I'd remove Daisy's mother as she doesn't play an important role yet. Maybe replace her with Mona. Plus I wouldn't mind if Harrison Ford looked a bit like he did in Blade Runner, aince that's where the inspiration of the Rebel came from.

I kknow that sounds like a lot so you don't have to put in everything I request.

Don't worry it's no biggie. In your mind who is Mona to you (actress) and what should she look like?

[1upmushroom]

Don't worry it's no biggie. In your mind who is Mona to you (actress) and what should she look like?

Eh, I really don't know, I do know however that it should be someone who's a real hottie but looks like she can punch without hesitation and she has to be a red head, see if you could find anyone like that. Plus on Wario, I'd like it if the color of his clothes were faded a bit. The clothes look a bit cartoony (then again when you dress like that it kind of should XD).

[superwesleybros]

Don't worry it's no biggie. In your mind who is Mona to you (actress) and what should she look like?

Eh, I really don't know, I do know however that it should be someone who's a real hottie but looks like she can punch without hesitation and she has to be a red head, see if you could find anyone like that. Plus on Wario, I'd like it if the color of his clothes were faded a bit. The clothes look a bit cartoony (then again when you dress like that it kind of should XD).

Okay, I'll look up some 1993 era actress who fit the bill lol.

btw, I found an awesome dinohattan-esque picture. I'll post it sometime tomorrow or Thursday depending on my schedule.

[1upmushroom]

Can't wait, though to be honest I'm more excited for the poster.

[superwesleybros]

Can't wait, though to be honest I'm more excited for the poster.

Glad to hear it, I was listening to the Judge Dredd score while designing the first poster.

[1upmushroom]

Can't wait, though to be honest I'm more excited for the poster.

Glad to hear it, I was listening to the Judge Dredd score while designing the first poster.

Well, I listened to the BladeRunner score while writing for the fiction. That could inspire you.

[superwesleybros]

Okay! I finished my revised First Rebel Poster, here are the changes.

Dull Wario Colors.
Mona.
Blade Runner-esque Rebel
Jack Nicholson Koopa.
and
A Dinohattan-esque background.

[1upmushroom]

Okay! I finished my revised First Rebel Poster, here are the changes.

Dull Wario Colors.
Mona.
Blade Runner-esque Rebel
Jack Nicholson Koopa.
and
A Dinohattan-esque background.

[Once again mods, I'll need some embedding assistance.] sorry for the trouble.

YES.......YES

THAT...........is the First Rebel movie!!! :') It's so beautiful! THANK YOU! I can't thank you enough manA It's AWESOME.

P.S You got that picture of Jack from Batman right. . The ONLY thing that's missing are the credits at the bottom. But other than that....AWESOME!

[superwesleybros]

THAT...........is the First Rebel movie!!! :') It's so beautiful! THANK YOU! I can't thank you enough manA It's AWESOME.

You are most welcome 1upmushroom.

P.S You got that picture of Jack from Batman right. . The ONLY thing that's missing are the credits at the bottom. But other than that....AWESOME!

yes Jack was taken from Batman, so was that picture of Nicole Kidman, lol Batman! :

This is what I love to do and soon it will be my career.

[1upmushroom]

yes Jack was taken from Batman, so was that picture of Nicole Kidman, lol Batman! :

This is what I love to do and soon it will be my career.

Poor Wario, lightly colored in front of black dressed people. Also, Nicole was blonde in Batman. Nice recolouring with her hair! I didn't know that was from Batman!

[superwesleybros]

Actually, the only thing I did with Nicole was Photoshop her head onto someone cosplaying as Emma Peel from the Avengers. haha.

[1upmushroom]

Actually, the only thing I did with Nicole was Photoshop her head onto someone cosplaying as Emma Peel from the Avengers. haha.

Well again , awesome job, the only thing it's missing are the credits but then again you've already busted your ass already so it's ok.

[superwesleybros]

Actually, the only thing I did with Nicole was Photoshop her head onto someone cosplaying as Emma Peel from the Avengers. haha.

Well again , awesome job, the only thing it's missing are the credits but then again you've already busted your ass already so it's ok.

I'll get around to it soon, I have a font that makes credits so it won't be difficult.

[1upmushroom]

The background may be a problem. Mostly because (even though I'm a christian) I'm trying to set up the idea that in this universe the concept of Christianity or any religion at all hasn't been introduced yet, which is why only the Rebel and Wario say things like what the hell, or goddamn you know.

Since I didn't want to make fun of christianity I decided to not put it in there and show it as something only the real world. Now why would I say this, well how would the city not know about any religion if there are obvious pentagrams in the background. Besides, I'd feel less dirty if they weren't gone.

[Redstar]

Dull Wario Colors.
Mona.
Blade Runner-esque Rebel
Jack Nicholson Koopa.
and
A Dinohattan-esque background.

I much prefer this version of the poster. While Hopper is much better suited to portray Koopa, I feel that you put a lot more time and effort into making this one. Everything about it just feels right. It captures the feeling of 1upmushroom's world perfectly.

(I should point out, though, that it's Danny DeVito, not "Divito")

Since I didn't want to make fun of christianity I decided to not put it in there and show it as something only the real world. Now why would I say this, well how would the city not know about any religion if there are obvious pentagrams in the background. Besides, I'd feel less dirty if they weren't gone.

While pentagrams do have a Satanic connotation, it should be pointed out that they have a history more closely related to early geometry and the study of alchemy. Yes, they may not fit perfectly into your vision for the parallel world, but they easily could with some reconsidering. I see no problem with them, though SWB could probably remove them easily if you're so inclined.

[1upmushroom]

AN: Apologies to jka12 for not giving him credit on his T-Rex Burrito idea!

Chapter 5: Dinner

The man’s good, he’s an expert at smooth talk. The idea of those de-evolving guns has merit. I should rob those blueprints once we get to the building. It still makes me wonder though, what did Koopa do to get demoted? Whatever, all I need right now is to lie low. Plan in the shadows, that’s what got me out. Well ok, that and the fact that the security over there is horrible but nevertheless planning while hiding hasn’t failed me now.

The Rebel sat on the ground, using his brown coat as a mattress while looking up at the ceiling; his eyes were never able to close as they just stared, not doing much else. There was a bang at the door and he got up instantly. When he opened the door, Mona was there with a poorly made Barbacoa T-Rex Burrito (obviously bought from a gas station) and now in a complete black suit.

She shoved it at him, “Eat up.”

The Rebel looked at the processed meal and smiled. “Thank you.”

Mona scoffed, “Just eat the damn food.”

Mona started to walk away but turned back. “Oh and one other thing,” She said, “I have to go to work at the diner so watch the kid will you?”

The Rebel raised his eyebrows, “Me?”

“Who else was I talking to?”

“Um, not to be rude but shouldn’t taking care of the kid be Wario’s job?”

After a brief pause, both of them laughed at the idea of this as Mona left the warehouse still laughing. The Rebel then sat down on his “mattress” while looking at the burrito. He ate worse before but this was still pathetic. The tortilla was flat and burned to an unbelievable crisp. The spicy tweeters were cold to the point of being frozen. The T-Rex meat was poorly done with some of the bones still intact. The onions were absent, the sauce was BEYOND mild and the worms were lacking spice. He still finished the meal however and put the plate on the desk.

He then folded his arms and closed his eyes for about 14 minutes.

Well, that failed, better go see how that kid is.

After closing the door, the Rebel found the kid quite easily...he was standing right in front of him. The Rebel nearly jumped but kept his cool and just slowly touched the kids shoulder. The kid shook it off and brushed his shoulder. The kid looked about his age just a bit more rouge. His brown hair was at standard length. His grey short was torn, his black pants were baggy, and his new stomper boots were dented. To be nice, the Rebel tried to start a conversation.

“Uh, hello there, how are you?”

The kid just stared at him with that creepily plain face.

“So uh, did you know Wario a lot?”

The kid merely sighed, “I’ve only seen him 5 times.”

Oh this won’t end well.

“Really uh, has he been good to you?”

The kid then grew a little irritated, “I don’t know, what do you think?!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, so what do you want to do?”

The kid just stared at him; he nearly gave up until he thought of something.

“Hey kid what’s your name?”

The kid was surprised by this and said, “Tyler.”

Tyler, Wario was way off!

“Tyler huh, that’s a nice name.”

“Mom named it for me.”

The Rebel smiled, “She always knew what to name people.”

My...god is this kid awkward!

“So have you eaten, Tyler?”

“No.”

“Well, let’s get you something, where’s the kitchen?”

Tyler pointed south, “There.”

He and Tyler walked to the kitchen while not looking at each other. When they arrived, the Rebel opened the fridge and looked for something Tyler could eat. He found some fried tweeters and some buns which were suitable for a kid he guessed so he got them out and put them on a plate. He put them in the microwave and heated them up. After that, he put the plate on the table and let Tyler at it. However after eating one of them Tyler stared at him. The Rebel tried to ignore this fact but couldn’t take it anymore.

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

He looked at Tyler, “My name?”

“Yeah, I just thought I’d ask.”

The Rebel thought long about this and sighed, “Well, to tell you the truth Tyler, I don’t really know.”

“No, you just don’t want to say it. Is it embarrassing?”

“No, it’s just...I feel I’m one of those people where it doesn’t matter what my name is. It’s what I do that counts.”

“Well that’s silly.”

“Not really, I mean I think one could name himself or herself very easily, it’s a label, nothing more nothing less. You could name yourself anything you want but it all comes down to what you do if you want people to notice you.”

Tyler just looked at him and sighed.

(end of chapter)

[superwesleybros]

Okay here is an update...of the update lol!

Changes...
Re-arranged The Rebel and Wario and added Credits on the bottom.

enjoy 1upmushroom.