Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

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Redstar
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Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Redstar » Fri Jul 27, 2012 6:01 pm

I was inspired to write the following piece from the Mariofiction Project prompt:

"What are some of the ways that Daisy is 'uncomfortable in the human world,' to quote Koopa? What's an incident or reoccurrence from her life that might have clued her in that she's not quite human?"

I had always had this idea in the back of my mind, so it felt like the first real opportunity to finally explore it. Daisy is just such a unique character with a rich history and destiny that could have been the focus of a much better film or even sequel. I wanted to try my hand at doing her character justice.

However, for the past week I found myself with ideas, yet no overall story. I just didn't know how to tie the events I had in mind together. Finally, just before heading to bed last night, it hit me: Mother Rita. Rita is named in early scripts as the woman who raised Daisy at St. Theresa's Cathedral and was even given an important scene in which she returned to Daisy the crystal and pod. If any character would have the perspective on Daisy's 'strangeness' in our world it would be her.

So, here it is. Brief, yet an effective start. I plan on continuing the story at least once more, so feel free to share any thoughts or comments if you'd like to read more. :)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

No story that begins with a child abandoned on a doorstep can be a happy one. This was common thought for many people. It represented a life interrupted before it can begin, entered into a broken system with no hope of a future beyond it. It was a tried and very true cliché.

Mother Rita had seen many such infants abandoned at her church, deposited without so much as a farewell knock or shamed note. They would come sometimes only hours after birth; other times days or weeks later, once the mother realized she honestly couldn't handle it. Rita could empathize with the latter more so than someone who never bothered to try. She herself would always try. It was in her vow, bother personal and in the eyes of God.

Others in her position would have long ago hardened to the sad fact of abandonment. Rita, however, could never refuse the cries of a child in need. These children were as if her own from the moment they were found. She would commit herself towards preventing the cliché of a troubled life coming true. It was love that was her deepest vow.

Rita would never be so tried before or since the night she found herself caring for the child left on the doorstep of St. Theresa's Cathedral in the year 1973. It was raining that night. You couldn't see ten feet ahead because of it. It was a miracle that she had heard the frantic beating of the church door between the peals of thunder at all. Or perhaps it was just that she had been awake all night, kept from sleep by some disturbed feeling of a grave injustice about to unfold. When she heard the rapping at the door she knew the premonition was proven true.

The child was unusual. How else could one describe an infant girl hatched from an egg incubated within a metallic pod? It was something far beyond her experience. She and the other Sisters might have called the police, tabloids or even the Vatican right then if not for one thing: Rita knew the child's mother.

Or, at least she felt she did. There seemed to be a connection between the newborn and the young woman that Rita had met in Central Park several months ago. The woman, who never gave her name, had an otherworldly beauty about her. She was just so classically composed, yet also deeply intelligent and as inquisitive as a child. She would stop among the trees, the gardens and especially the flowers, touching and smelling them as if she had never seen any before. The daisies always seemed to hold her attention the most.

After weekly walks through the park together the young woman simply stopped coming. Rita had begun to worry once she hadn't seen her for several weeks, though she finally returned as spontaneously as she had disappeared. It was a brief encounter made all the more short by a feeling of dread. She was in trouble and Rita knew shew might never see her again, though she did her best to comfort her.

It was then that the young woman admitted that she wasn't from here… Not from New York or even this country. Somewhere else entirely. She wouldn't say more than that, but she left with the promise of returning as soon as she could. Rita hoped despite desperately for it to be true.

Finally, on that terrible night in the rain, there came a panicked beating on the door. Rita rushed to answer, expecting the young woman; instead, she found the pod. She didn't know what else to do but to take it inside, setting it on a table. It opened on its own, revealing an egg that began to hitch.

Once the newborn girl was revealed inside, Rita realized that the woman wasn't from our world at all. No, somewhere far away. Was she an angel? A demon? A creature from the depths of the Biblical era? It wasn't her place to question the possibility, nor did she want to. She knew the young woman as a friend. Beyond that nothing else mattered.

Instead, Rita swore her fellow Sisters to secrecy. The egg was quietly disposed of while the pod and crystal were hidden away as church relics. She determined herself to raise this strange child as best she could. It was as beautiful as any other she had found and so deserved the same love. It was the least she could do for a lost friend.

She named the baby girl Daisy.

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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Amethyst Dreams » Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:56 am

I really like that this is a prequel to Daisy's story and hope that you continue with this idea. I would like you to continue with the story so I can find out what happens next.

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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Phlibbit » Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:46 pm

I'm so glad that you put this idea into words. It's something that we both planted the seeds for in our personal discussions on the film's world and where it could go in the future, and it was very well written.

Mother Rita really is the link between Daisy and her mother in terms of giving depth behind the name and providing a good reason as to why no authorities were notified and why Rita felt that it was up to her to raise the child in the most normal environment as possible.

With the actual film keeping its focus on Mario and Luigi, there's not much time to give Daisy much substance--so it's great to read something like this that's so well thought out. It makes all the difference in the world to write something based on what makes sense for the characters and the established world of the film compared to what you want from the games to be interpreted first.

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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby 1upmushroom » Mon Jul 30, 2012 3:33 pm

While I honestly never really found Daisy to be that much of an interesting character, there definitley was a sort of mystery around her, especially with how she grew up.

So far this fic is about Mother Rita at least from what I've read and while that's a very interesting choice I'm more interested in whether or not Daisy was treated as an outcast during her younger years. Was she popular? Was it for the right reasons? Did her reptillian instincts get the best of her at times? Stuff like that could make for very interesting character development.

Hell, if this story really is centered around Mother Rita, would you have her challange her religion after finding Daisy? Will she stay the same as she was or will she grow bitter as time marches on?

The writing could use a little work, not that it's terrible or anything, far from it, but you could tone it down a little bit. It's just not my style, it seems everyone else likes it and I don't hate it, it just seems a bit too dramatic.
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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Serum » Mon Jul 30, 2012 3:45 pm

It's very well written, but I've got to say that I didn't find Daisy to be the most interesting character in the movie, so this doesn't grab my attention that much.

Like I said, it's very well written and makes for good exposition, I like the idea of the Queen wandering around Central Park admiring daisies and that's how Daisy got her name but all in all, I think the mystique about Daisy is that we don't know that much about her.

However, it's your fanfiction and you can do whatever you want, as Bob Ross might have said.
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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Redstar » Tue Jul 31, 2012 3:36 am

Thank you so much for all the comments! I really had fun writing this piece and will certainly make an effort towards continuing it on a weekly basis. I have two more pieces planned-out before I feel the premise will be fully told.

Phlibbit wrote:I'm so glad that you put this idea into words. It's something that we both planted the seeds for in our personal discussions on the film's world and where it could go in the future, and it was very well written.

Mother Rita's role was key towards Daisy's immersion in our world and the character she would become. It's truly a shame that she wasn't present in the film at all.

1upmushroom wrote:The writing could use a little work, not that it's terrible or anything, far from it, but you could tone it down a little bit. It's just not my style, it seems everyone else likes it and I don't hate it, it just seems a bit too dramatic.

I really question how else one would handle a story in which abandonment, desolation, murder and genocide are key themes. At its heart, Super Mario Bros. is the tale of characters overcoming their personal inadequacies and discovering who they are meant to be.

Serum wrote:Like I said, it's very well written and makes for good exposition, I like the idea of the Queen wandering around Central Park admiring daisies and that's how Daisy got her name but all in all, I think the mystique about Daisy is that we don't know that much about her.

Daisy is a main character. Such characters are defined by who they are and the experiences that brought them to that point. I feel that it is important to see Daisy's path towards reclaiming her birthright.

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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby 1upmushroom » Tue Jul 31, 2012 3:50 am

Redstar wrote:I really question how else one would handle a story in which abandonment, desolation, murder and genocide are key themes.

Hmm, I guess you're right. Well then they're nothing that much to complain about, I hope you keep writing more as you continue developing what is sure to be an epic.
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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Carnivorous M. » Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:47 am

First off, I apologize for taking so long to get to this.

Second, this is absolutely wonderful! I counted two, possibly three typos, and using 'cliché' twice to refer to the same situation poetically was slightly awkward, but other than that I really can't find fault at all; the grammar and syntax were quite excellent, and the sentences are dramatic and descriptive without turning into purple prose or flailing about all over the place as mine tend to do (case in point).

The explanation that Mother Rita and the Queen already knew each other, if only just barely, was brilliant. As Phlibbit said, it added an extra emotional connection while giving a reason for Daisy not becoming an instant media circus.

I really liked how you portrayed Mother Rita; it's always bothered me how fictional altruistic foster-parent characters, especially nuns, never really seem to have anything portrayed as going on in their heads other than 'I will look after this child, because it is my duty/s/he is randomly there.' Especially when they're portrayed as being cold, because of course obviously being a nun/orphanage-overseer means you must be jaded and hardened, instead of, for example, doing it because you care what happens to other people.

You've done a wonderful job of showing us a character who, although she has seen a number of awful things that could easily make one disgusted with humanity, keeps on going because she knows these kids will have a hard enough life without her and she cares. It's touching because her altruism isn't the unnatural 'we need an explanation for why our hero is so clueless' convenience of the flimsy-excuse foster parent, but the more realistic love for people that you might expect from someone like that. This is one of those stories that reminds you that there really are people like that in the world, and that it's not just a hunk of spinning dirt marinated in stupidity, cruelty, and negligence (even as it doesn't try to pretend that stupidity and cruelty and negligence don't exist).

...Anyway, sorry for gushing on that one point. It's one of those things that's very rarely done right nowadays, and it makes me squee a bit on the inside when it is. I can't wait to see how it continues.

My review in a nutshell: Cool story, bro!
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Re: Mother Rita's Vow (Fanfic)

Postby Redstar » Sun Aug 19, 2012 1:09 am

I appreciate the comments and praise, Carnie. Like I said, this is a story that I've had in my mind for a long time. Mother Rita was such an important character in Daisy's backstory that it's truly a shame that they cut her along with much of the rest of Daisy's arc.

I also must unfortunately admit that I probably won't be continuing the story at this time. I have attempted to write more and, while successful in portraying more of Daisy's development, I just don't feel it's absolutely necessary. This first part is just strong enough to stand on its own without further exploration.

I would be happy to post what I've written if requested, though.


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