Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)

[1upmushroom]

Nice to see your back for another take on this Merrit The Ferrit or should I say GoChauncyGo either way its good to see that your finally going to post more of this amazing outline. The only thing I have to say is take your time but don't take too much time.

[Redstar]

Well, I haven't updated this in awhile, but I do intend to write more. Unfortunately I lost my master file and will have to work off what I posted here, but that's okay. Thankfully almost everything that was in the master file is on this thread. But yeah, when I get around to it, more to come.

Sorry to hear that. I've lost a few files and stories in my time and it never feels good. Luckily I'll have some notes or drafts around somewhere to work off of, just as you have. These days I keep numerous copies of everything just in case.

Looking forward to seeing more. Your story is a fascinating reinterpretation of the film. One of the best I've seen.

[Serum]

Lots of updates to the script coming very soon. Also, I'm working on a side project that's not ready to be revealed yet, but it's very exciting in its relation to the movie. I'm currently backing up all that I've written into an RTF file, which is taking up a significant amount of time, then I have to read all that I've written and then I have to revise and finally update, so keep yourselves braced for the stirring conclusion to the first draft of my treatment/outline for the ultimate fan-script based on the sci-fi Super Mario Bros universe!

UPDATE

I've finished backing up the treatment, now all I have to do is finish writing it, then revise it, then put it into screenplay format. Look for more updates in the future.

[Phlibbit]

It's great to hear an update on this project. It's a pretty strong story but I can't wait to see it in some sort of proper script format!

[Serum]

I can't wait to see it in some sort of proper script format!

I'll be writing the actual screenplay in CeltX (an open source screenwriting software) and then export it to PDF and then upload it. Like I said, I'm wrapped up in a couple other projects right now for my small press and it's going to take some time, but I'll try to get some writing done today.

Here's a little taste of what's coming next, with the continued story from the last update to the story I made.

Cut to a grimy looking gym, where we see Spike, shirtless, pumping iron. His skin is completely pale, but he's built like a professional-wrestler. He puts the barbell on the rack and sits up, he then rips a mouth guard from his lips and tosses it in an adjacent gym bag, but as he pulls it from his mouth we see he has no teeth or tongue! This explains his silence. He stands up, grabs his gym bag and walks out of the room, then cut to him standing in a shower stall, hand against the wall, head down, letting the water flow over him. He opens his eyes, they're red, he's an albino, after all. A voice-over occurs: “But Koopa! I didn't mean to insult you!” A voice says. We cut to his flashback, he's a young man, in an alley of another city, he's being held down by two goons, on his knees, a young Koopa is standing in front of him, holding a malicious looking device that's glowing red. “If there's one thing I cannot stand,” says Koopa, “It's nay-say.” Koopa grabs Spike's jaw, Spike is screaming “No, NO! Don't, I promise you I'll never talk back again!” To which Koopa responds “Yes, I know you won't.” And he shoves the hot poker device in Spike's mouth and Spike lets out a muffled scream. Suddenly we cut back to Spike in the shower, who is looking at the dirty water go down the drain in the floor of the shower. He shuts it off. Then we cut to outside the gym, which has a neon sign above it that reads “Chargin' Chuck's Workout Extravaganza.” Spike walks away, carrying his gym bag over his shoulder, looking rather sad.

Now we cut to Daisy, who is in her chambers, studying a hologram machine. There's an access key plugged into it with Lena's ID hanging off of it. The information seems to be streaming from the machine directly into her mind, she's in a sort of meditative trance. She's dressed now in sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, barefoot, like a guru. Holograms circle around her head. A voice suddenly comes out of nowhere: “Daisy...” It's deep and commanding, yet distant. “Who's there?” Daisy asks, opening her eyes, the holograms disappear. “Daisy, do not trust Lena. She's dangerous. She wants the rock for herself...” The voice says, Daisy stands up and walks over to a small chest of drawers and looks inside, the rock is in a small box covered by clothes. “Who is this?” She asks. “Bowser,” the voice says. “Your father.” She looks around. “Where are you?” She asks, to which the voice responds: “Everywhere.” She looks at the fungus on the ceiling that seems to cover the entire building, the fungus moves slightly, and a from the ceiling descends a string of it, holding a small black sphere with feet and a wind-up key. This is a BOB-OMB. “Take this, use it only when absolutely necessary.” The voice begins to fade away. “Stop Koopa, trust no one but your friends, save the city-- save my soul!” And then a shriek and it dissipates. Daisy grabs the Bob-Omb and the fungus retreats to the ceiling. She looks around and then puts the bomb in her pocket. Lena walks into the room with Pauline and two of the other missing girls from New York. “Daisy, I think we've figured out a way to stop Koopa!” She says. “How?” Daisy asks. “He's testing project BOO...” Daisy flinches, she knows what that is. “The Genocide Device?” She asks, Lena nods. “He's going to be testing it in an isolated environment in a few hours, down at what we call the Donut House, if we can figure out a way to turn it against him, that should at least put a knot in his chain.” Pauline nods and adds: “We also found out that Mario and Luigi are in the desert training with someone named Toad, they're probably planning an all out attack right now!”

Cut to Luigi on the ATV, he's on the very outskirts of the city now, near the Booster Plaza. He sees a sign that says “Donut House,” and gets off the ATV and begins walking up a steep hill towards there. He's basically climbing up the riverbed, only there's no water. There is debris everywhere, as well as strange-looking skulls with sharp teeth and horns, he accidentally puts his hand on one as he climbs and falls back down a cliff, he clicks his heels together before he hits the ground and then bounces back up, hopping up the hill like a Billy goat.

Cut to Mario and Toad, who are walking through some sort of stable. “So what's this last thing we've got to do?” Mario asks, Toad turns to him and smiles. “Have you ever ridden a Yoshi before?” Toad asks. Mario shakes his head, “What's a Yoshi--” he begins to ask when Toad opens up a large stable door and reveals a small dinosaur about the size of a horse! “HOLY SHIT!” Mario exclaims. “What in the name of God is that?!” He asks, Toad responds “A Yoshi, an evolutionary reject. Basically the equivalent of what you call a horse in your dimension.” Toad puts his hand out towards the Yoshi and gestures for Mario to walk over to it. He does so and runs his hand across its scaly neck and sees a leather saddle on its back. “Are they hard to ride?” Mario asks, Toad shakes his head, “I don't know man, you tell me.” Mario hops up on the Yoshi's back and grabs a hold of its reins, and starts parading around the stable with ease. “How does-- how does it know what I want to do?” He asks. “Yoshis are more in tune with nature than any other species, despite being throwbacks. They're a little more intelligent that the creatures you call dolphins. No one can really explain it, it just is.” Mario looks at Toad, and sees there are several other stable doors. “Well what are we waiting for? Let's ride in on these Yoshis and wreak some havoc on the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Enjoy!

[1upmushroom]

Ok I take it back, this is BETTER than your rough outline! It's edgy, dark, and funny, like the film but ths time includes many game references from subtle to plain how much obvious can you get obvious!

My only advice would be to change the name of Daisy's father from Bowser and change the name project BOO in the final product. I know it's supposed to be a reference to the film and the complaint is nitpicky but to me they're both just uneeded references.

That and Project BOO doesn't really sound that threatning, nor does Bowser sound the right name for Daisy's father.

Besides that however, CHANGE NOTHING ELSE. Everything else is squeaky clean perfect from the game references to the film quote references!

This is a really outstanding start and I am expecting great things from the final product!

[Serum]

Ok I take it back, this is BETTER than your rough outline! It's edgy, dark, and funny, like the film but ths time includes many game references from subtle to plain how much obvious can you get obvious!

My only advice would be to change the name of Daisy's father from Bowser and change the name project BOO in the final product. I know it's supposed to be a reference to the film and the complaint is nitpicky but to me they're both just uneeded references.

That and Project BOO doesn't really sound that threatning, nor does Bowser sound the right name for Daisy's father.

Besides that however, CHANGE NOTHING ELSE. Everything else is squeaky clean perfect from the game references to the film quote references!

This is a really outstanding start and I am expecting great things from the final product!

Project BOO doesn't sound threatening? Maybe after reading this new entry you'll change your mind.

Here's the next stirring part of the treatment!

Now we cut to the edge of a cliff, looking directly at the horizon and the setting sun in the dim, apocalyptic twilight of the day's final hours. Suddenly, a HAND reaches up from beyond the cliff and LUIGI pulls himself up, struggling. He looks around and sees he's in front of a large warehouse called “DONUT HOUSE.” Two guards stand out front, they're fierce, spiky looking guys with masks on-- SHY GUYS. They're holding flame throwers, Luigi approaches them with no fear. The one Shy Guy looks up, then pokes the other, indicating Luigi's arrival. They aim their weapons at him. “Guys, guys, guys, sorry. I'm a little lost,” Luigi says, raising his hands in the air, palms toward them-- he's wearing the fire-balling gloves, “What's your purpose in this place, citizen?” Asks one of the Shy Guys. “Well, I just got back from Brooklyn and I, I, I...” he begins to stutter and then smiles, the gloves begin to glow and he IGNITES THE SHY GUYS! They run around, in flames, screaming, scrambling for help, then run towards the cliff and fall off like lemmings. Luigi, who's been facing the same way the whole time without even watching says: “I was afraid I'd have to toast your asses.” He looks up at a SECURITY CAMERA, and we cut to a guard sitting in a room with Koopa, looking at what just happened. “That's him, that's the guy! He looks like a plumber...” Koopa says. “Should I put out a plumber alert, sir?” Asks the guard, Koopa shakes his head. “No, I have an idea, let him inside the Donut House, see how long he lasts with the Goombas.” The guard nods and flips a switch, cut back to Luigi, who is standing in front of a loading bay door that the guards were in front of, it opens and a voice comes from inside, it's Koopa's: “Come in, plumber. Your princess is waiting for you.” Luigi stands there for a moment, then walks into the darkness, the gate shuts behind him. The room is dimly lit, it seems to be full of old things, mostly filing cabinets that reach all the way to the ceiling. Something ZOOMS PAST the screen, Luigi turns around and lights a small flame on his glove, lighting the way. He sees nothing. Then he hears the sound of a Goomba grunting, he walks over to a clearing in the debris of this place of old things and sees a Goomba on its side, being SHREDDED APART by a strange, ethereal being. It screams like a banshee as it slices the skin off of its victim, crushing its bones into dust, turning it into a fine paste of dead matter. Luigi backs away-- Koopa's voice booms over the loudspeaker: “It took forever to train these creatures-- the Boos, we call them. Damned souls left wandering the Earth, loyal, lethal... remarkable isn't it?” Koopa laughs wickedly. “Oh my God.” Luigi says, behind is one of them, he doesn't see it, its just a white light floating in mid air with red eyes. He spins around and sees it, but now it's just a dim white ball of light with shy looking closed eyes, like that of a sleeping cat. The other boo that's eating the Goomba sees Luigi has his back turned and rushes for him, knocking him over! Luigi screams in horror as he writhes around kicking the two ghosts away, then when he gets them in his eyesight, they both become docile. “They can't hurt you if you're looking directly at them...” He says quietly. On the floor, backing up slowly he lights a fire-ball and tosses it in the air, lighting a wooden chandelier overhead on fire. The room around him is like that of a Victorian Mansion-- not a warehouse. But everything is so old, the wood paneling has fallen into disrepair, the stairs are fallen out, the rugs are covered in dirt and dust... This unfortunately was a mistake, because it alerts not only the Boos that he is here, but the surviving Goombas as well. They all start coming towards him, he begins firing away with the fire-balling gloves and then when they get too close he jumps up and STOMPS Goombas on the heads! Suddenly, floodlights go off, which seem to vanquish the Boos! A door opens up at the end of the room leading outside, Luigi pushes his way through Goombas and makes his way past Goomba corpses and runs out into the Booster Plaza complex.

Cut back to Koopa who watches in disbelief, he slams the control panel and screams in frustration. “Who turned on the damn floodlights? I didn't give that order!” He spins around and standing in front of him is Lena, with two ELITE GOOMBAS, she points to Koopa and says “Break his back,” the one Goomba walks over to him, Koopa's eyes flash like a cat's and he dodges an incoming punch from the Goomba, then backs up and drop kicks it, but the other elite is behind him, and it picks him up over its head and SNAPS HIS BACK! Koopa cries out in agony, “INSURRECTION! LENA I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!” The Goomba drops Koopa's limp body before her and she walks over to him and kicks his head. “Your world is a pathetic excuse for a utopia, now that I have Daisy, AND the rock, I'll rule the human world-- they'll be slaves, and you will be the man who goes down in history as the one who almost thwarted the great Lena Valentina's plan to bring about a universal harmony.” Koopa looks up at her in disbelief, then passes out from the pain of his broken back. The guard who was sitting at the control panel looks at her and she smiles wickedly at him. “Run.” She says. He gets up, whimpering and runs away. Lena pulls out a walkie talkie and in an innocent voice says “Okay, it's safe to come in.” The Brooklyn girls and Pauline and Daisy walk in. “Did you get him-- oh my God!” Daisy says. She's now dressed in her royal garb again, with the rock around her neck. The women walk out of the room, “We have much to do,” Lena says, the camera moves back over to Koopa, who opens an eye, we pan over his back, which appears to be fixing itself, some sort of side effect from the evolution machine. He rolls onto his back and begins to move his hands. “There's only one way to end this,” he says grimly.

[1upmushroom]

Before reading the next passage: No. Not really, I meant the name of the project.

After reading passage: O.O! The name of this project should be awarded for "DECEICVEMENT OF THE FRIGGIN CENTURAY!" Again, you should probably change the name. Plus,

“Your world is a pathetic excuse for a utopia, now that I have Daisy, AND the rock, I'll rule the human world-- they'll be slaves, and you will be the man who goes down in history as the one who almost thwarted the great Lena Valentina's plan to bring about a universal harmony.”

Oh thank god, the world makes sense again! I can't wait for the next passage!!

[Serum]

Here's the next part, we're nearing the end, now!

Cut to a suit-up/weapons stock-up montage-- Mario, Toad and several other Toadstoolians are loading guns, flame throwers, loading Thwomp stompers with Bullet Bills, the works. Mario and Toad go to the front of a long line of men on Yoshis backs, they're also riding Yoshis. The sun is set now, a billion stars shine bright in the sky. Toad checks his rucksack, there's a large detonator inside of it. “What's that?” Mario asks, Toad looks up at him and smiles. “It's a detonator.” He says, Mario looks puzzled. “What's it rigged to blow?” He asks, Toad responds: “Koopa's towers, at least it will be once we get in there.” Toad turns his Yoshi to the men, facing them, “Alright, listen up, because I'm only going to say this once! A lot of us are going to die, if not all of us. But let's go in there and give every last one of those rat bastards the fight of their lives! IN THE NAME OF THE KING!” The Toadstoolians all cheer, and Toad begins riding toward the city, Mario and the others begin to follow, as they storm the city.

Cut back to Luigi, who is standing at the base of Booster Plaza, looking up at the two towers. “Which one is she in?” He says aloud, he goes out on a leap of faith and chooses the tower opposite of the one he came out of when he first arrived. In the lobby there are some guards at the main elevator, they look up at him. “Can I see some identification, please?” The one guard asks, Luigi puts his palm out and goes to fire-ball him, but nothing happens, he shakes his wrist and tries again. The two guards glance at each other. “Just a sec,” Luigi says, then he gets frustrated and takes off the gloves and throws them down. “Here's my ID.” He hands the guard his drivers license. The guard eyes it suspiciously. “What the hell is a driver's license?” Luigi unstraps his Thwomp stompers and steps out of them, under them are his regular boots. The guards eye each other again, confused. “Sir, maybe if you'd step into the conference room with us, we'd like to ask you a couple questions...” Luigi picks the boots up and clicks them together, they go FLYING FORWARD at each of the guards, knocking them both upside the heads. Luigi grabs the one's DE-EVOLUTION GUN, which he straps across his back, and picks up the other guard's flame thrower, which he holds onto in his hands and presses the button for the elevator. It opens and he presses the button for the top floor. “Ass-hats.” He says under his breath. As the doors close: “That's the power of confusion.”

Cut to Daisy in her chambers, she's standing at the window, looking out. Lena walks in, we see she's holding a knife behind her back. Daisy turns around and looks at her, “Daisy, give me the rock.” Daisy is holding the rock-necklace in her hands, she shakes her head. “No,” she starts, “I know what you're up to,” Lena sighs. “Daisy, please, there's not much time. Koopa will be back on his feet in no time and when he gets back up, we don't want to be here, please, I promise I won't hurt you or any of your friends, just give me the rock and we can all go home.” Lena says. “That's what you want, isn't it? You want a home-- a world full of resources, my world.” She says, Lena interjects: “THIS is your world, and it shall continue to be after we merge the dimensions.” But Daisy knows what's coming. “I won't.” Fungus begins to descend from the ceiling behind Lena, she doesn't notice it. “Why? Why won't you see to the future of an entire species?” The fungus WRAPS ITSELF AROUND LENA, Lena drops the knife as she's put into a choke hold by the fungus. “Because,” Daisy says. “Everyone deserves what they've earned, and you haven't earned this.” The fungus completely wraps around Lena and absorbs her! We see through the translucent stuff that she's being digested by it! Her skin withers away, down to muscle, then down to bone, then into dust. The fungus belches, “Thanks, Dad.” She says. The fungus disperses and drops Lena's keycard, which she picks up and walks out of the room and goes to a room down the hall and swipes it through, freeing the Brooklyn girls. “Come on, let's go! We've got to get out of here!” They run for the elevator, but suddenly it opens-- they all back up in fear, and then they see LUIGI standing there, armed with the flame thrower and the devo gun. “Luigi!” Daisy yells and runs over to him, they kiss. “Thank God you're okay,” Luigi says. He looks at the girls, recognizes Pauline: “Hey, Pauline. What are you doing here?” Pauline spits out an unlit cigarette and smiles. “They thought I was her, and that the rest of us were her, too. Funny. Except it's absolutely true.” The sound of GOOMBAS marching down the hall... “All right, everyone in the elevator!” Luigi rushes the girls into the lift as four ELITE GOOMBAS walk up, they look at Daisy and the girls, then converse in Goomba language. One of them lets out a high pitched shriek! Luigi opens fire on them with the flame thrower, igniting them! “Godless freaks!” He yells, then presses the button for the elevator and takes it down. When they arrive back in the lobby, it's in chaos! Mario, Toad and several other Toadstoolians are fighting cops, elite guards, Goombas and other troopers! Mario looks up from the carnage and sees Luigi and the girls. Pauline sees Mario and runs toward him, he runs for her, a fireballs whiz past their heads as they embrace and kiss amidst the chaos. “Mario, I knew you'd come for me!” Pauline cries. “Come on, babe, we've got to get home, we're bringing this place down... literally!”

Cut to Koopa, who, with the help of some medics, is being strapped into the evolution machine. “Simon...” he says, weakly: “Set it for full physical de-evolution, and full mental acceleration.” Simon looks up, shocked. “Sir, we've never attempted that before!” He protests. “JUST DO IT, GOD DAMN YOU!” Koopa yells, he's in pain, but he's healing quickly. “Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster,” Koopa says wearily as his neck is strapped into the machine and sends him flying back and up into it. We cut to the exterior of the room, it gets quiet, then suddenly, there's a loud screaming, a voice roars: “I'LL KILL THOSE PLUMBERS!” It sounds like Koopa, but deeper, more meancing, the doors burst open, steam pours out from the room and a TURTLE-SPIKY-SHELLED LIZARD-LIKE MONSTER bursts out, it's Koopa! He breaths fire into the camera, the screen goes black before cutting to the next scene!

[Serum]

I've finished it! The detailed outline is complete! Here is the stirring conclusion of my version of "Super Mario Bros!"

Cut to the exterior of the Booster Plaza, where hundreds of POLICE CARS, RIOT BUSSES AND TANKS are shooting at the riders on Yoshis who are opening fire with flame throwers, fire-ballers and devo guns, fire is returned with Bullet-Bills, sandbags, teargas and grenades. The towers are taking a hell of a beating, the bottom ten stories are on fire. Inside the building, Toad, Luigi, Mario, Pauline and the Brooklyn girls are in the basement, heading for the hole to lead them back to Manhattan. “You girls go first!” Mario puts Pauline and the other six Brooklyn girls on the lift and they go down. “We're going to go through the doorway, through the marble room and then get out of the pit on the other side!” Toad yells. “I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago!” He gets on the lift with the girls, but there's a wire trailing with him, attached to the detonator. “What's that attached to?” Mario asks, as the lift goes down the hole. “This whole building is powered by natural gas, one spark in the wrong place and it'll all go sky-high! I've got this wire tethered into the building's gas generator, and once we're through to the other side I'm going to detonate it. It should knock this tower into the other, causing a domino effect!” Mario looks up, “Holy shit, you know your stuff.” They get to the bottom and run through to the other side. Mario presses the button for the lift: “Okay, Daisy, Luigi, let's go home.” They go to get on the lift when a HOLE RIPS OPEN IN THE CEILING! Koopa bursts in. “YOU ARE GOING TO MERGE THE DIMENSIONS!” He roars, he seems to be functioning at fifty percent mental capacity. The lift is coming too slow. As Koopa worms his way through the ceiling, Mario removes his Thwomp stompers. “Luigi, take these, go through to the other side. I'll meet up with you there.” He says, Luigi protests: “But Mario, you'll be killed in the explosion!” Mario smacks him: “Luigi, sometimes being a brother is better than being a superhero. I'll find my way back home, I always have, I always will. Put the boots on and GO!” Luigi complies, Daisy puts her arms around Luigi and they make the jump down into the hole, then run through to the other side. Mario, noticing Koopa is distracted, pulls the golden crucifix from around his neck and hides the cross in his fist. “You want a rock, I'll give you a rock.” He mutters.

On the other side, we see Toad with the girls, Toad's holding the detonator, waiting eagerly to press down on the handle. Luigi and Daisy come through. “Where's Mario?!” Toad asks. “He's staying behind, he's going to distract Koopa!” Luigi says, tears in his eyes. “Today is a good day to die,” Toad says, triumphantly. “Give him a five minute head start before you detonate that thing!” Luigi says, shaking Toad by the shoulders, Toad nods. Pauline and the other Brooklyn girls are at the top of the hole, where Scapelli is handcuffed and being read his rights by a cop, along with his two goons and the Pascal boys. “Tony!” Pauline yells! Scapelli looks up, his eyes light up. “Pauline! You're okay!” The cop looks over at her and the other missing Brooklyn girls. “Wait, you're the girls, the missing girls from Brooklyn!” The cop says, one of the girls speaks up: “Yeah, except for Jessica, she's from Queens, but she's all right.” Pauline looks back at Scapelli. “What are they arresting you guys for?” The cop steps in. “Aggravated assault, carrying a concealed weapon without a permit on government property, trespassing and connections to the mafia.” Pauline laughs. “Is that all?” Scapelli laughs, too, “Yeah don't worry, I'll be out in no time.”

Cut back to Mario, who is in the crumbling basement, face to face with Koopa. Koopa is looming over him, threateningly. Mario is holding out the gold chain, dangling it as he walks backwards, towards a stairwell going back up to the ground level. “You want it? Come and get it, lizard-breath!” Koopa inhales deeply and as he exhales fire, a WALL OF FUNGUS shields Mario from the blast, giving him time to run up the stairs. He comes back out into the parking garage, where he sees a 70s Cadillac with MONSTER TRUCK WHEELS sitting alone. He runs over and hops in, starts it up, a computer turns on and says “Please provide thumbprint verification.” He presses his thumb against a plate and it surprisingly gives him a green light! “Welcome, Wario. Where would you like to drive to?” Mario shakes his head. “I'm MARIO, not...whatever you just said. Let's get out of here! Give me the nearest route to the desert!” A map appears and he begins driving out of the parking garage, up a ramp and out into the chaos! Koopa is not far behind, though! He's running, spewing fire and roaring like dinosaur! Mario drives through a field of flying bullets and and they ding his car, he drives towards the parallel Battery Park City, and then off a ledge, down into the desert... Koopa is running for him, breathing fire, screaming. Suddenly, back in the tower, we see the fungus that chokes the building collect itself, it flows down stairs, through elevator shafts, down and down, bursting out of the lobby and flying towards Koopa in the desert! It's shaped like a giant hand!

Cut to Toad, who looks at Luigi. “There's no more time left! It's now or never!” Luigi is about to protest, but Toad pushes the detonator and they get on the lift and ascend back to the top of the dig. “Toad, won't this cut off your way home? How will you get back?” Daisy asks. “There are many more doorways between this world and mine, this was the only the main junction point in a series of many-- it was also the only place where the dimensions could be merged. Now it's history, just like your dinosaurs.”

Back to Koopa, running across the desert, the hand reaches out and grabs him, pulling him back towards the tower! A FLASH goes off and the base of the tower that Mario came out of and is now driving away from begins to crumble! Koopa screams as he's pulled towards the falling tower-- the 1812 overture plays as windows burst out of every story, and the tower knocks into its twin, causing the other to fall as well. Koopa is engulfed in flames and debris and smoke! He's gone. Mario is a safe distance from the carnage, he stops and sees the towers fall into the desert riverbed. The Toadstoolians watch and the cops and elites watch, too, the towers fall away from them and plop and explode as they hit the desert floor. Smoke billows from the ground, Koopa, his towers and his empire are gone. Mario gets out of the car and looks at the damage Toad caused. “Holy shit, we really did it.” He says, then gets in the car and makes a circle loop going way around the damage, then drives back towards the city... the screen fades out.

Words appear on the black screen: “Three weeks later...”

Dissolve to Luigi, Toad, Pauline and Daisy sitting in a cafe dressed in clean, casual clothes, Toad is eating heartily from a plate of pancakes. “I can't believe how good the food is here!” He says, mouth stuffed. Daisy smiles at Luigi, “So in that world, you had the ability to send help to me and Mario when we needed it?” Luigi asks her. “Yes,” she says. “I think it was from a psychic connection I had with my father, the fungus wrapping the Booster Plaza-- Koopa's first victim of de-evolution. I learned a lot from the hologram machines, as well.” Pauline, who looks kind of sad, twirling her straw around in her empty milk sighs. “Don't worry,” Toad says. “Mario will be coming back any day now. All he has to do is find another junction point, they're really not as uncommon as you'd think.” Suddenly, the door jingles and MARIO WALKS IN! He's dressed in a blue collar shirt and jeans. “Yeah, they're not uncommon, just hidden really, really well!” Pauline jumps up and runs over to him and kisses him on the mouth. “Mario! I thought I'd never see you, again!” Luigi looks at his brother and smiles. “Good to see you bro,” he says. “Mario nods, Luigi stands up, they hug. “About what I said, about you not being my brother...” Mario waves it away: “Fuck it, it's all in the past. Just like Koopa and his empire.” Toad looks over and smiles. “See? I told you he'd be back.” Mario sits down at their table with them. “So what happened? How did you escape?” Luigi asks him, “I have so many questions!” Mario nods. “Yeah, it was a one in a hundred chance, but I broke into a car that happened to recognize my thumbprint. It thought I was someone named 'Wario,'” Mario says. Toad stops eating and drops his fork. “Anyway,” Mario says, “Toad's plan worked perfectly, the one tower fell into the other and they both fell into the riverbed. Then something unexpected happened. At dawn, a sort of bright light came over the city...”

We flash back to Mario standing at the parallel Brooklyn Bridge at dawn, looking out at the endless desert. A beautiful light shoots out of the wreckage of the Booster Plaza and splits into several directions across the sky! It rains light and breaths life back into the world. Green grass begins to grow in the desert! Underground springs explode and begin to flood the desert riverbed! Mario looks on in amazement as life springs up all around him-- mushrooms grow on plants and the sun shines bright and triumphant against the sky, which the fog dissipates from...

Back to Mario in the cafe. “As was prophesied.” Says Toad. “Right,” Mario says. “So then I shacked up with one of Toad's buddies for a few weeks until we found a new portal in a place called World 2-1, which brought me out in upstate New York. I hitched a ride back, went home, you guys weren't there, I took a shower, put on some clean clothes and called Scapelli, who said I'd find you guys here.” Mario explains it all. Toad utters the word “Wario...” under his breath, then shakes it off. “Yeah, I was wondering who this Wario guy was, too.” Mario says. Daisy chimes in. “I learned something from one of the machines, that for every person in this universe, there's another, parallel version in the other. Maybe this Wario guy was your counterpart?” Mario shrugs. “I don't know, but I wrecked his car and killed his boss. I hope he's not too sore.” They all laugh, except for Toad. The other four begin to engage in smalltalk, talking about their adventure...

Then we cut back to the Mushroom Kingdom, where things are starting to get under control. Statues of Koopa are being torn down, posters with his face and name are being painted over, people are acting (somewhat) civilized. Then we see the wreckage of the Booster Plaza, and then we see a pair of booted feet walking cross the smoldering rubble, the figure is whistling the “Super Mario World” theme.

He stops, kneels down and picks up a sharp tooth-- all that remains of Koopa. He stands up, the camera pans up and reveals his face. He looks just like Mario, but is dressed in biker gear, all leather and denim, and wears a purple and yellow bandana. His mustache is different from Mario's, like a biker's 70s stash. He throws the tooth away, then looks out at the infinite green and smiles. This is Wario. He laughs and we CUT TO BLACK.

I hope you've all enjoyed reading this over the years as much as I have writing it! Now to revise it and put it in screenplay format!

[1upmushroom]

This is, hands down, one of the best fan-fic I have read. And the idea of what the final product will be like sends shocks of exictment through my body!

I see you kept the end with Wario there, and vastly improved on it. Question, does Wario hum the title theme of the overworld theme frok Mario World. Its most likely a dumb question but I'm curious. I also see that you included a little bennet/runet script reference there.

Though I'm not too sure that adding a cussword too it adds anything.

Otherwise, this is an amazing outline, and I'm very interested to see the actual product and see the changes you made.

[Serum]

Thanks, glad to hear it. Looking back at it, I have to revise some things (like what happened to Iggy and Spike and the rest of the Kooplings) and add bits and pieces here and there to tie up loose ends. Here are my revision notes...

Revision 1: Change the Kooplings names from numbers to names:

K-1 is Iggy.
K-2 is Spike.
K-3 is Ludwig-von.
K-4 is Morton.
K-5 is Lemmy.
K-6 is Roy.
K-7 is Wendy-O

Revision 2: Add more history regarding the Marios' parents and their death:

When Mario is changing in the apartment right before Scapelli shows up, have him looking at a picture of the family taped to his bathroom mirror, showing Maria Mario holding baby Luigi and Vito Mario with Mario, holding wrenches or plungers.

Revision 3: Add a scene of Pauline getting kidnapped/add Scapelli history:

Have Pauline arguing with Anthony, about the company 'business' and how they should go about handling things, then when she hits the streets, show her working at the tanning salon, then show her leaving and getting lured in by one of the Kooplings.

Revision 4: Add a scene of Iggy getting drunk in a Brooklyn bar on Bloody Marys.

Revision 5: Expand the technology that the Kooplings use to communicate:

Have it so they communicate through their sunglasses, which have microelectronics that act as some sort of retroactive cellular device that shoots out and allows them all to communicate-- also consider adding a scene of interference from a car phone that a rich guy has or from early day cellular phones and have those voices interrupting the Kooplings at odd moments with bawdy talking.

Revision 6: Remove the “Rock” element, replace the rock with a “power star:”

Koopa is searching for the last Power Star, and he needs the last Star Bearer in order for it to be used-- the only place it can be used in is the main junction between dimensions located underneath the parallel World Trade Centers.

Revision 7: Expand on Koopa's history with the former king:

Koopa can have a flashback to a meeting held in the 70s when he tried to suggest merging the two dimensions and King Bowser denying him the power, and his subsequent rise to power, the creation of the evolution machines and the takeover.

Revision 8: Explain Daisy's presence in the regular world and how she got there.

Have Lena explain to Daisy that Queen Peach smuggled Daisy over to the other side when things began getting rough, then let herself get killed so she wouldn't have the power to merge the dimensions anymore for Koopa. Maybe have a flashback.

Revision 9: Change the slogan from “just jump it,” to “just stomp it.”

Revision 10: Expand on Daisy's psychic power to help the Marios.

Maybe explain it through some sort of metaphysical way, like the old King has the ability to make something out of nothing-- materialization, but he needs a host body to do it, which is why whenever it happens, Daisy's eyes change color, briefly. Also, expand the fungus to be choking the entire Mushroom Kingdom, from the city out into the desert.
Revision 11: Explain the “Statue of Repression”

Have Toad very briefly run over what the Statue of Repression is, maybe have him say “It was a gift from the people of Dark World,” or something similar.

Revision 12: Make Wart a larger part foreshadowing for a sequel:

When Wart is about to be de-evolved, have him give a speech as his last words, something like: “My brother is a maniac, he's not my kind of dictator. I know all his secrets, and yours; even though you may turn me into the most primitive form of life, there's nothing stopping me from pulling myself back together again. You'd be better off burning me, then scattering my ashes, lest I come back for you!” And then, with that, have him de-evolved and turned into slime.

Revision 13: Make the chase scene through the city into the desert longer:

After the brothers hijack the truck, have a brutal, all-out 'Twisted Metal' scene with heavy metal music and insane explosions going on. Have the people chasing the Marios run down pedestrians, drive through food vendors and cause a lot of havoc.

Revision 14: Expand Toad's history.

Explain (maybe in a flashback) how Toad is the former prime minister of the Mushroom Kingdom and how he was thrown into permanent exile by Koopa, who promised not to kill him as long as he promised never to come out of the desert. Also explain that Toad is a terrorist with a heart of gold, much like “V.”

Revision 15: Expand Project BOO:

In the scene where Luigi is in the Donut House, have Koopa explain the history of the Boos a little more in depth, maybe also going to length about how they were trained and how they're controlled.

Revision 16: Koopa becomes an egomaniac:

In the scene where Koopa has himself evolved to the 'advanced' state, give him a complete personality overhaul, he now cares little about doing anything other than improving himself and completing his mission.

Revision 17: Change “Fireball Gloves” to “Fire Flower Gloves.”

Revision 18: Expand the scene where Mario, Toad and the others storm the city:

Have a major montage of Mario and Toad and the army of Toadstoolians storming the city, leading all the cops and elites towards the Booster Plaza for the final battle. Then show Toad rigging the tower to fall into the other tower.

Revision 19: Explain Mario's return more in-depth:

In the end, when they're at the cafe, have Mario explain the way he got home a little more clearly.

Revision 20: Explain the prophecy fulfillment:

Have Toad explain why the Mushroom Kingdom and all of Sarasaland is returned to normal through supernatural means rather than scientific. Maybe the old king's remains somehow breathed new life into the dying world giving them a second chance because of the bravery performed by the Mario Bros, fulfilling an ancient prophecy that no one would listen to before because they listened to technology...

...now I have to put it all in screenplay format, then figure out how to get it online.

Some more notes...

Among other things, also consider showing in the end the world getting back under control, the Kooplings scatter across the world, going their separate ways and the Goombas are transformed back into 'humans,' show a montage of Koopa's statues and posters and billboards being destroyed, and the former members of Bowser's council taking control at City Hall. Don't go too in-depth with the Wario character...

SEQUEL IDEAS:

Super Mario Bros Return

Set a couple months after the first film, mysterious terrorist attacks start occurring all over Brooklyn, dinosaurs are unleashed on our world and havoc reigns! It's up to the Mario Bros to stop the chaos, but they're shocked to find someone who looks just like Mario at the head of all this chaos! The Mario Bros return to fight the evil Wario and his army of darkness!

Super Mario Bros Triumphant

Set three years after the events of the first two films, the Mario Bros have settled down, their plumbing business is doing great, Mario has married Pauline and Luigi is engaged to Daisy. But back in the Mushroom Kingdom (where Toad is now King) something strange happens... a mysterious figure appears and begins to rally up prisoners, low-lifes and bandits all across Sarasland and wants to take over the Mushroom Kingdom! It turns out this man is someone who shouldn't even still be alive... Koopa's nefarious brother, Wart!

[Redstar]

I would just love to re-read through this and offer my final thoughts in review-form, but the lack of formatting in the early parts is just killing me. I'll wait until it's available in script-form (or the early text is formatted) until I go through it.

[Serum]

I would just love to re-read through this and offer my final thoughts in review-form, but the lack of formatting in the early parts is just killing me. I'll wait until it's available in script-form (or the early text is formatted) until I go through it.

I'm working on putting it in script format, right now. It's a bit tedious, but it should come out nice and polished.


Update (Jul. 28): All right, readers, the screenplay is thirty-two pages written, so far. I'm looking at a page count of between 120 and 175 pages-- making this a literally epic story. Keep checking back for updates!


Update (Aug. 2): Fifty five pages in and I'm not even getting started. I've also changed the ending substantially, but that's going to be a surprise when the script is finally available.

[Prime Evil]

Shit, Chaunce, I think we'll have to add your name to the Fan-fiction Dictionary, because you're pretty much creating a genre unto itself.

I think "To do a Chauncey" as a term for "writing a potentially award-winning story from a poorly-regarded film/tv series/whatever and making it the author's own" is a rather apt thing, don't you?

I think your treatment of SMB is one of the things I'm trying to go for with Osamu Tezuka's Inspector Gadget (see the "General" section).

[Serum]

Shit, Chaunce, I think we'll have to add your name to the Fan-fiction Dictionary, because you're pretty much creating a genre unto itself.

I think "To do a Chauncey" as a term for "writing a potentially award-winning story from a poorly-regarded film/tv series/whatever and making it the author's own" is a rather apt thing, don't you?

I think your treatment of SMB is one of the things I'm trying to go for with Osamu Tezuka's Inspector Gadget (see the "General" section).

Thanks. I'm still working on the screenplay, though, I've seriously reworked the ending and added in some elements that weren't in the treatment, however as of the end of the month I'm going to be out of commission for a few days, maybe weeks, but if I finish the screenplay before then, so much the better. Either way, it will be done when it's done. Thanks for your feedback.

[Prime Evil]

...as of the end of the month I'm going to be out of commission for a few days, maybe weeks, but if I finish the screenplay before then, so much the better.

Ooh, you know in advance. Lycanthropy, is it, or...?

[Serum]

...as of the end of the month I'm going to be out of commission for a few days, maybe weeks, but if I finish the screenplay before then, so much the better.

Ooh, you know in advance. Lycanthropy, is it, or...?

No, no. Nothing like that. I'll be out of town, is all.


UPDATE (Aug. 16): 77 pages in, and I don't even think I'm HALFWAY done... This is a lot of work, but soon, very soon, it will be available on the site for your reading pleasure.

[Redstar]

UPDATE (Aug. 16): 77 pages in, and I don't even think I'm HALFWAY done... This is a lot of work, but soon, very soon, it will be available on the site for your reading pleasure.

Wonderful. I'm really looking forward to finally reading through this from start-to-finish. Giving it a home on the site is definitely the best thing to do, so I appreciate all the work you're doing to format it appropriately.

I do hope that you put up the original ending for the script as well as the latest revisions. Either that, or you can write a short article on the development for the script and where all its ideas came from... I'd love to hear your creative process!

[Serum]

UPDATE (Aug. 16): 77 pages in, and I don't even think I'm HALFWAY done... This is a lot of work, but soon, very soon, it will be available on the site for your reading pleasure.

Wonderful. I'm really looking forward to finally reading through this from start-to-finish. Giving it a home on the site is definitely the best thing to do, so I appreciate all the work you're doing to format it appropriately.

I do hope that you put up the original ending for the script as well as the latest revisions. Either that, or you can write a short article on the development for the script and where all its ideas came from... I'd love to hear your creative process!

Glad you're looking forward to it. I'm also going to be putting up a document that contains the original outline, the detailed outline, the character profiles and a list of revisions that I've made over the course of the last two years. That document in itself is going to be about 40-60 pages long. But the screenplay itself is much more detailed and polished than any of that.

I will be writing a short article/introduction once it's finished regarding my vision of a fully realized "R-Rated" Mario, the nature of the evolution of the screenplay and how it came to be and where it's going. So stay tuned, it's almost done. I've been saying that for two years now, but this time I really mean it.

[Serum]

The screenplay is finally done! I've submitted it to Phlibbit, who should be posting it in the fan-fiction section very soon, now! I hope everyone enjoys it!

[Phlibbit]

Wonderful! Look for it with this weekend's batch of updates.

[Redstar]

Great! We'll do what we can to prepare it for the site. Shouldn't be too long; if not this weekend, then the next.

[Serum]

Looking back on it, maybe eventually I should do a 'writer's cut' of the script, as there were certain parts in the script that I completely skipped over (Daisy being smuggled into our world, Koopa's rise to power, Toad's exile...) The original expected page count was around 180-200, but it wound up being more around 110 pages in length, which is industry standard.

However, I will admit, 180 pages for a "Super Mario Bros" screenplay is a tad long for a movie based on a video-game-- but then again, the original cut of "Silent Hill" was over three and a half hours long, so maybe I'm onto something, here. Either way, I'm looking forward to getting everyone's feedback!

[1upmushroom]

Um not to be rude, but where is the script version? I've looked everywhere, is Philibbit still working on it?

[Redstar]

Um not to be rude, but where is the script version? I've looked everywhere, is Philibbit still working on it?

Phlibbit and I really dropped the ball with this one. We've both been working a lot more lately and with the holiday season we just don't have time to make anything but news updates. We promise both you and Merritt that the script will be up at the beginning of the new year.

[Serum]

Great to hear. I'll also be doing an expanded version some time in the future, but I'd love to get everyone reading the script I wrote!

[Prime Evil]

Just don't ask me to star in a "movie" of the screenplay. I only say this because a character named Pauline is in it; I'll probably mess it up by saying "PAW-leen" instead of "paw-LEEN." I watch too much Channel 11.

[Serum]

Just don't ask me to star in a "movie" of the screenplay. I only say this because a character named Pauline is in it; I'll probably mess it up by saying "PAW-leen" instead of "paw-LEEN." I watch too much Channel 11.

No, nobody is making a movie out of this. Not unless I magically get 250 million dollars, in which case I'm going to do it completely differently and only aided by professionals. This script was merely a writing project. I'm not going around saying "I'M MAKING A MOVIE," I simply wanted to write my own version of the story. Now I have successfully done that, I'm probably going to do an expanded draft and have that uploaded to the site in time. But no, no one is starring in anything as anyone in any script written by me.

[Prime Evil]

I know. Just wanted to point out my difficulties in saying "Pauline."

[Serum]

I'm taking the time to heavily revise the script, adding another 25-100 pages to it, revising certain dialogue and changing the ending (which was changed from the outline). I thought my initial draft would be uploaded to the site by now, but since that seems to be a ways off, it looks like I have time to go back and make the script even better than it already is.

As it is, the script is a meager one hundred and twelve pages, over fifty of which take place in Brooklyn-- the setup for the film is enormous. So I'm going to go back and expand the script so they spend more time in the Mushroom Kingdom and there will be an entirely new added subplot showing the fall of the old King and Koopa's rise to power. Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.

[Prime Evil]

As it is, the script is a meager one hundred and twelve pages, over fifty of which take place in Brooklyn-- the setup for the film is enormous. So I'm going to go back and expand the script so they spend more time in the Mushroom Kingdom and there will be an entirely new added subplot showing the fall of the old King and Koopa's rise to power. Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.

Just streamline whenever you can. I know it's difficult, but at the end of the day you'll feel much better for it.

I am loving your idea of the subplot, too. Try going back to Shakespeare, that old master of the hostile takeover. I would suggest (maybe) The History of King John and Richard III, especially the 1995 version starring Sir Ian McKellen. Is MacBeth too obvious? I think so, but it might be useful for Lena...

[Redstar]

I am loving your idea of the subplot, too. Try going back to Shakespeare, that old master of the hostile takeover. I would suggest (maybe) The History of King John and Richard III, especially the 1995 version starring Sir Ian McKellen. Is MacBeth too obvious? I think so, but it might be useful for Lena...

I always got a MacBeth vibe to the backstory myself, especially when you consider Koopa's love for Daisy's mother. It really works if you consider him and the King to be brothers.

[AngeloThomas]

When is the script going to be uploaded to the site? I've been dying to read it...

[Phlibbit]

Since we're incredibly busy with things like our theatrical screenings right now, it won't be posted for some time.

I believe he's re-writing the script anyway, though. Feel free to PM him to see if he'll send you a copy to peruse.

[1upmushroom]

Let me know if anyone has any suggestions.

I don't know if I'm too late to suggest this but here's an idea you could play with.

The reason Luigi is scared of ghosts is because in his younger life he accidentally pushed a guy off a cliff without even knowing before that person hit the ground. Now, whenever he ends up in a ghost populated area or whenever he thinks he near a ghost, Luigi's always afraid he'll run into the spirit of that same guy who he thinks has a serious vengence to him.

[Movieguy]

Check it out, I got a character profile written...

MARIO

NAME: Mario Mario
AGE: 35
SEX: Male
-
HEIGHT: 5'1
WEIGHT: 200lbs
HAIR: Brown
EYES: Blue

No but if Wario is a in it.

[Serum]

It's not ready, yet. It will be, but not yet. I've got some new ideas, and I need to revise. But it's coming.

[Serum]

Man, I almost forgot about this. A lot of the ideas I had are good, not to toot my own horn or anything. I should revise the screenplay again, but it's probably going to come out much longer. I'm toying with the idea of telling the story in chronological order, starting with the advent of the Power Stars, then the old king's reign and Koopa's rise to power, then Daisy's mother rebelling and smuggling her daughter to the other side. Then the origin of the Mario Bros., starting with the untimely death of their parents and how they go from simple plumbers to superheroes.

Should I do this? Let's have a vote.

[1upmushroom]

I don't know, that sounds a bit TOO long winded. I suggest saving the first half (basically the old kings reign, the power stars origin and koopa's rise to power) for a prequel and focusing more on the second half (basically the Super Mario Brothers half).

It may irk readers to the point where they'll say "Yes, this is all interesting but CAN YOU GET TO THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS ALREADY?!"

At least that's what I think.