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Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 10:36 pm
by Redstar
I'd have to agree with 1upmushroom. I don't see the point in restructuring the story like that. It just wouldn't be "cinematic." I think you've written an amazing story as it is.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:36 am
by 1upmushroom
So, have you given up on that whole remake story of the movie or are you still working on it?
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 1:01 pm
by Serum
I've been busy. Right now I'm working on a novel my publisher wants by March, plus I've got lots of stuff going on around that. I really haven't the time for fan-fiction at the moment, but I'll probably work on it when I get some time.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 2:23 pm
by 1upmushroom
Serum wrote:I've been busy. Right now I'm working on a novel my publisher wants by March, plus I've got lots of stuff going on around that. I really haven't the time for fan-fiction at the moment, but I'll probably work on it when I get some time.
No, I meant the other two part hard sic-fi story that's loosely based on three of the early drafts but removes all of the mario references.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:29 pm
by Serum
Oh, yeah. I'm definitely going to do that.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:45 pm
by 1upmushroom
Oh, well before we close this whole discussion thing can you explain why? Is it just because you have no time? Or is it because it just wasn't working out?
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 5:57 pm
by Serum
1upmushroom wrote:Oh, well before we close this whole discussion thing can you explain why? Is it just because you have no time? Or is it because it just wasn't working out?
Why what? I'm not sure I understand what you're asking.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:25 pm
by 1upmushroom
Why you decided to give up on that other novel.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2013 7:59 pm
by Serum
I didn't.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 9:37 am
by 1upmushroom
Hey Serum, question. Have you ever thought about making this a webcomic? I mean with a story as big and epic as this, I think it would be much more fit for a comic medium. Especially since this is supposedly inspired by Alan Moore's Watchmen and Jodorwosky's unproduced Dune film.
Also, didn't you say you knew an artist down south? I mean you don't have to of course since you're probably already finished with the fan-fic as it is. I just think it would be much better fit for a comic as well as the fact that the reader wouldn't feel so exhausted with the sheer a,punt of story.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 9:48 am
by Serum
Yeah, I've thought about it-- but in the end, I changed so much of both the story of the Super Mario Bros. movie and the games and even the unused scripts for the movies that I think I'd might as well make something completely new out of all of this.
I mean, looking back at most of my notes, the ones on here and the ones I never posted, there are so many deviations from the source material that I've practically written an entirely new story that has nothing to do with the movie. I feel like I ought to take what I have and write an entirely new thing with it. I'm not an avid comic reader, I've read larger titles, like Watchmen by Alan Moore and my favorite The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, but frankly I feel my idea would probably work itself out better as a serial or a novel.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 9:53 am
by 1upmushroom
Well whatever you do, just know that many of us will eagerly be waiting to see it.
Though it would be nice to see your initial draft of the script that you sent Phlibbit.

Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 2:07 pm
by Serum
It probably wouldn't be all that entertaining, given it was a rough draft and it didn't hold everything that I conveyed in the outline, maybe about fifty percent of my notes made it into the rough draft, which is why we never published it on the site.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 2:46 pm
by 1upmushroom
Ah, so what your saying is this whole project is canceled? Or has it been completed for a while and you just haven't had time to upload it?
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 3:10 pm
by Serum
Neither, it's still incomplete, at least in accordance to me.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 3:02 am
by Redstar
I think your work is significant enough that a mockup comic cover would be worth exploring. Just something that explores the themes and tone of your screenplay, even if you don't intend on following through on a full adaptation.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 3:02 am
by Peculiar
I agree. Having read your script I would say that a mock cover would be an amazing way to finalize the work. It's just too good a premise to leave unvisualized.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 3:06 am
by Serum
Redstar wrote:I think your work is significant enough that a mockup comic cover would be worth exploring. Just something that explores the themes and tone of your screenplay, even if you don't intend on following through on a full adaptation.
Ha, a full adaptation of my vision would cost half a billion dollars and bankrupt every major film studio on the planet.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 11:14 am
by 1upmushroom
I think Redstar meant a full on COMIC adaption. I think we all know an actual film adaptation has as much a chance as Jodorowskys Dune had when it comes to making a film.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:21 pm
by Serum
1upmushroom wrote:I think Redstar meant a full on COMIC adaption. I think we all know an actual film adaptation has as much a chance as Jodorowskys Dune had when it comes to making a film.
Have you ever seen the original
Dune movie from 1984? It was made by David Lynch, maker of bizarrely visceral movies like Eraserhead and
Blue Velvet (which starred Dennis Hopper in one of his more...
peculiar roles) and he didn't even credit himself in the final cut of the film-- opting to use the dreaded "Alan Smithee" moniker.
It's based on this weird, psychedelic quasi-science fiction novel by Frank Herbert.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:27 pm
by Redstar
I'm a huge fan of the Dune series and did enjoy the Lynch adaptation, although it got a few story points wrong. I think a comic adaptation of Super Mario Bros. in the same vein would be very good.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:39 pm
by Serum
Redstar wrote:I'm a huge fan of the Dune series and did enjoy the Lynch adaptation, although it got a few story points wrong.
A
few? I don't remember the yelling at the rocks to make them explode being in the book.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:41 pm
by Redstar
Okay, a few
major points.

Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:48 pm
by Serum
Redstar wrote:Okay, a few
major points.

Also, I'm pretty sure that whole scene with the "heart plugs" wasn't in the book, either. Remember, with boy-servant with the flower? Damn, that's an uncomfortable scene. I know Harkonnen was evil, but I didn't think he was a registered sex offender.

Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 6:52 pm
by Redstar
The heart plugs weren't in the book, but the Baron's depravity was. I believe he was known to sexually assault many slaves, young boys in particular. He had even molested Feyd Rautha on numerous occasions.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 8:14 pm
by Serum
Redstar wrote:The heart plugs weren't in the book, but the Baron's depravity was. I believe he was known to sexually assault many slaves, young boys in particular. He had even molested Feyd Rautha on numerous occasions.
Okay, so half of that scene was sort of in the book. But where did the heart plugs come from? Also, I don't remember the opening scene of the movie with the Emperor of the Universe meeting with one of the Navigators.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 8:31 pm
by Redstar
The heart plugs were original, as was the opening scene with the Guild meeting.
Re: Official FAN-SCREENPLAY thread! (COMPLETED)
Posted: Fri May 31, 2013 8:36 pm
by Serum
I don't know. I had to read the book in high school and I didn't care for it. The movie was okay, but all in all I thought the book was a little... wordy. And coming from me, that's saying something. I mean, it had a glossary in the back because no one knew what a "Mentat" was. While the book on its own is a work of art, the sequel and prequel series written by Brian Herbert are just terrible.
Brian Herbert is Frank's son, and Brian is just awful at writing-- I tried reading one of his non-Dune books and it was just awful. They say it's the co-writer of Brian's Dune books' fault that they're awful, but after reading The Race For God, a solo effort by Brian, I realized he's the reason Frank is spinning in his grave.