SMB RiffTrax?

[Prime Evil]

I was wondering if a few of us could get together and make a fan-made RiffTrax for SMB, in the tradition of Mike Nelson and his cronies.

I don't mean to ridicule the movie and its fans, but I do think it can stand to have a few well-timed jokes thrown at it. The other one I have in mind is AMighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie.

STEP ONE: Sign-up sheet

I need two or three of you guys in order for this to work. User name and personality traits (to help with joke writing) should be just fine. In fact, I'll start it off:

PRIME EVIL: Well-read, with an excellent sense of comedic timing. Is accomplished at voice impersonations, though his jokes sometimes go over the heads of his fellow riffers.

[marioblaster]

You mean there isn't a RiffTrax of this yet? Official or fan?

I'm surprised.

And if we were to play chracters or something similar to a fan made rifftrax...I would be:

Mario Blaster: grumpy old game fan. Constantly berating the film for being different from the games. Lives and breaths by the Japenesse SMB game manuals. Is threatened to be forced out of the movie theater for his insane rants.

[Prime Evil]

Is threatened to be forced out of the movie theater for his insane rants.

Ah, but that's all part of Dr. Forrester's plan, see.

[Redstar]

I've never heard of "RiffTrax" before now, but if it has something to do with SMB I'd be interested in seeing it turn out.

[Prime Evil]

I've never heard of "RiffTrax" before now, but if it has something to do with SMB I'd be interested in seeing it turn out.

RiffTrax is a spinoff of Mystery Science Theater 3000. A project headed by former MST3K alum Mike Nelson, the website features downloadable "alternate commentary" MP3s that you can sync up to a movie you have rented or currently own. One thing to keep in mind is that, while the commentators make jokes about a given movie, they do not "trash" it.

The commentaries come at a small price, of course, but they're usually not under $5. Nelson encourages fans to create and submit their own from time to time.

http://www.rifftrax.com

[Prime Evil]

It looks as if there's already a SMB fan-riff posted on the site by God's Lab Rat, but, judging from the brief sample, it's not very good. Just one guy sitting there making wisecracks. I think the users of this forum can do much better.

This is open to all SMB Movie forum users, but I'll need an audition piece from whoever wants to sign up so I can determine the best and funniest jokes. As far as limitations, the sky's the limit, but just remember not to go too raunchy (double entendres are fine, but no "hard" swearing) and to write within your character so the jokes/dialogue flows more freely.

By the way, Mario Blaster, I have an excellent scenario for you. You come in half-way through the movie because you had a mishap with your prop Devo Gun, which turned you into fungus. Luckily, you managed to 'pull yourself together,' as it were, but you were delayed as a result.

[marioblaster]

I wouldn't mind helping with the recording of a few lines or getting this project off the ground. But I'm a horrible comedy writer. The MST300 guys are just so awesome, I don't think that I would ever be able to match their cailber.

I do happen to have both a Tom Servo and Crow puppet prop replicas...

[1upmushroom]

I'll join it. I will be,

Cool Guy: The guy who thinks he's cool, and reviews movies!

[Prime Evil]

I'll join it. I will be,

Cool Guy: The guy who thinks he's cool, and reviews movies!

Eh...I don't know if you'll be able to get any jokes from that alone. The idea with the personality/characteristic thing is more to give your character a unique brand of humor, from which the jokes will evolve from. I, for example, would be this well-read guy with a dry sense of humor, but who still enjoys making pop-culture jokes. For example, when the Hollywood Pictures Sphinx appears, I'd make a reference to Pee-wee's Playhouse, 'cause there's a sphinx on top of the playhouse.

Actually, the easiest thing to do is to go back, watch SMB, and take notes on the kind of jokes you randomly dream up. If you come up with, say, a lot of droll wisecracks, you'd be a Deadpan Snarker. Trust me, writing jokes around a personality closest to how you really are is easier than just coming up with jokes.

RE: Marioblaster

I'll let you in on one secret: MST writing, I think, is a lot easier than normal comedy writing. In other words, you don't need to constrain yourself to a set-up and a punchline in MST mode, since it's just a well-placed wisecrack or obscure reference to something else. The timing of it is another thing. But the real challenge comes in being funny. Too many amature MSTs pick out the easy targets, like Super Mario Bros., and their riffs become nothing more than a bunch of drunken ranting. What makes MST3K work is the guys' affection for what they're riffing on--they love it despite it's a bad movie, and their jokes are never really cruel, which is why they're funny. This is a far cry from most amateur attempts, which pick on a bad movie *because* they hate it.

[1upmushroom]

Ok,
Mr. 1up: a young, wisecracking guy, who reviews movies, but usually plays games in his room, usually pokemon games. (Which is weird because his name is 1up, making him seem like a Mario fan.)

[Prime Evil]

Ok,
Mr. 1up: a young, wisecracking guy, who reviews movies, but usually plays games in his room, usually pokemon games. (Which is weird because his name is 1up, making him seem like a Mario fan.)

Ah, now we're getting somewhere!

"Usually plays games in his room:" Because of this, he knows everything there is to know about the Mario games (or at least he thinks he does, for he sometimes misattributes Sonic elements to the Mario universe and vice-versa, prompting his cohorts to sarcastically correct him), and he directs his sarcasm at SMB's lack of resemblance to the games.

"Usually Pokemon games:" I suppose Yoshi's got a few jokes in him. You could also compare Princess Daisy's egg-holdy-thing to a Poke-Ball. Since Pokemon is "sooo 20th Century," his cohorts often make jokes about this, though Prime Evil is not one to talk, for he hasn't moved past a Nintendo GameCube. (True story.)

[1upmushroom]

Ok,
Mr. 1up: a young, wisecracking guy, who reviews movies, but usually plays games in his room, usually pokemon games. (Which is weird because his name is 1up, making him seem like a Mario fan.)

Ah, now we're getting somewhere!

"Usually plays games in his room:" Because of this, he knows everything there is to know about the Mario games (or at least he thinks he does, for he sometimes misattributes Sonic elements to the Mario universe and vice-versa, prompting his cohorts to sarcastically correct him), and he directs his sarcasm at SMB's lack of resemblance to the games.

"Usually Pokemon games:" I suppose Yoshi's got a few jokes in him. You could also compare Princess Daisy's egg-holdy-thing to a Poke-Ball. Since Pokemon is "sooo 20th Century," his cohorts often make jokes about this, though Prime Evil is not one to talk, for he hasn't moved past a Nintendo GameCube. (True story.)

I see. Well, I decided to add 2 additions.

Mr. 1up: a young, wisecracking guy, who reviews movies, but usually plays games in his room, usually pokemon games. (Which is weird because his name is 1up, making him seem like a Mario fan.) He also enjoys, rock and pop music, and knows alot about movies, actors, and all behind the scenes stuff at movies.

[Prime Evil]

Well, if you can get a great many jokes out of it, be my guest.

Here, try a few of mine on for size, with timing and dialogue cues.

SUPER MARIO BROS.

CHAPTER ONE

00:07 (the Hollywood Pictures Sphinx appears)
--Pee-wee's Playhouse...

01:23 ("A giant meteorite...")
--No, Adric, you definitely did *not* get it right.

01:41 ("...find a way back")
--Then we'd *really* be screwed.

02:12 (Mushroom Queen bangs on church door)
-- (a la Sir Galahad) In the name of King Arthur, OPEN THE DOOR!

03:43 ("Where's the rock?")
--He's cooking something with a lot of garlic in it.

04:03 (Daisy's egg opens)
--Velociraptor! No, hang on a mo...

04:26 (BROOKLYN)
--BER-wyn?!

06:29 (number on panel-van reads "KL5-3089"--read: JL5-2020)
--They called Boo Busters?

07:13 (Scapelli rather smarmily steps out of his limo)
--Uh-oh, he's not going to come out of this well at all.

09:19 (Spike hits pane of glass)
--Should've told him they were using Windex!

13:09 ("suck my thumb")
--*hums Linus and Lucy* (Peanuts theme)

CHAPTER TWO

04:44 (close-up on fossil)
--Republicanus idioticus (or some other Road-Runner taxonomy)

CHAPTER THREE

03:16 (Daisy's face appears in rock wall as if coming out of sand)
--Did they steal this idea for "The Mummy"?

05:05 ("I'm REALLY gonna kill 'em!")
--And that's just his agents he's talking about. And the writers...and the directors...most especially the producers.
SOMEONE ELSE: What about his co-stars? Dennis Hopper, John Leguizamo...
--No, he spared them from his wrath. Not too sure about the fans...I'm sure we're fair game as far as he's concerned.

07:22 ("I WAS A TEENAGE MAMMAL--XXX")
something random, possibly involving animal porn--the first one who says something funny gets the line

CHAPTER FIVE

00:56 ("...and get rid of the mammals!")
ALL (in unison): Of COURSE! (a la M. Bison)

[1upmushroom]

Well, if you can get a great many jokes out of it, be my guest.

Here, try a few of mine on for size, with timing and dialogue cues.

SUPER MARIO BROS.

CHAPTER ONE

00:07 (the Hollywood Pictures Sphinx appears)
--Pee-wee's Playhouse...

01:23 ("A giant meteorite...")
--No, Adric, you definitely did *not* get it right.

01:41 ("...find a way back")
--Then we'd *really* be screwed.

02:12 (Mushroom Queen bangs on church door)
-- (a la Sir Galahad) In the name of King Arthur, OPEN THE DOOR!

03:43 ("Where's the rock?")
--He's cooking something with a lot of garlic in it.

04:03 (Daisy's egg opens)
--Velociraptor! No, hang on a mo...

04:26 (BROOKLYN)
--BER-wyn?!

06:29 (number on panel-van reads "KL5-3089"--read: JL5-2020)
--They called Boo Busters?

07:13 (Scapelli rather smarmily steps out of his limo)
--Uh-oh, he's not going to come out of this well at all.

09:19 (Spike hits pane of glass)
--Should've told him they were using Windex!

13:09 ("suck my thumb")
--*hums Linus and Lucy* (Peanuts theme)

CHAPTER TWO

04:44 (close-up on fossil)
--Republicanus idioticus (or some other Road-Runner taxonomy)

CHAPTER THREE

03:16 (Daisy's face appears in rock wall as if coming out of sand)
--Did they steal this idea for "The Mummy"?

05:05 ("I'm REALLY gonna kill 'em!")
--And that's just his agents he's talking about. And the writers...and the directors...most especially the producers.
SOMEONE ELSE: What about his co-stars? Dennis Hopper, John Leguizamo...
--No, he spared them from his wrath. Not too sure about the fans...I'm sure we're fair game as far as he's concerned.

07:22 ("I WAS A TEENAGE MAMMAL--XXX")
something random, possibly involving animal porn--the first one who says something funny gets the line

CHAPTER FIVE

00:56 ("...and get rid of the mammals!")
ALL (in unison): Of COURSE! (a la M. Bison)

Let me try, uh

(Mario picks up the the phone, and says "Mario Brothers Plumbing, no leak too small)
Thank god, its probably his agent! Yeah? AND..................he's still in the movie. Don't worry, I'll get the booze for you

[Prime Evil]

My God, I hadn't even thought of that as a potential gag...Bob Hoskins calling his agent and asking for more beer to be brought onto the set.

Ooh! Ooh! You just made me think of something.

("This is Al Bronski from Bronski's Department Store...")
--[Tom Baker]*beep* Hello, Bob, this is Tom. Listen, I'm going 'round the pub at 5.00 tonight. Care to join me? First shout's on me.[/Tom Baker]

[1upmushroom]

Actuaally, I wa referencing something that happened behind the scenes, Naturally, that other guy on the phone, was probably Bob's agent and Bob asking if he can get out of this movie, when he doesn't Mr. 1up says I'll get the booze, spoffing the fact that Bob and John would usually get drunk, when making this movie, just to go through ti all.

[Prime Evil]

Actuaally, I wa referencing something that happened behind the scenes, Naturally, that other guy on the phone, was probably Bob's agent and Bob asking if he can get out of this movie, when he doesn't Mr. 1up says I'll get the booze, spoffing the fact that Bob and John would usually get drunk, when making this movie, just to go through ti all.

Oh ho ho...that just makes it even funnier. Gives their "glug-glug-glug" catchphrase a whole new meaning.

[1upmushroom]

Theres more.

[When the guys A long time ago]

VERY quickly: IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.

[1upmushroom]

[HollyWood Pictures sign appears]

Pee-Wee's Playhouse!!! (Pee Wee impressions.) ''This is not crack. I ain't sure its kid's stuff, but its not crack!" (Normal Voice) Well, I ain't sure some of your movies are kids stuff too, so be quiet, hey how'd you get in here anyway?

[When the meteor explodes and the guys still talking]

Ok, Your anoyying me right now dude, shut up.

[Guy stills talks]

SHUT UP!!!

[Guy still talks]

SHUT THE %%^$ UP!!!!!

[Title Screen]

FINALLY!!!

[When Mother lays thing down]

So what device, do you creatures use to store babies?

[reveals the container]

An oval shaped grey PokeBall! OF COURSE!!!!!!

[1upmushroom]

[When Koopa mentions Mushroom Kingdom]

Uh no, this place is Jurrassic Park GONE WILD!!!!!! ( Btw, Jurrassic Park Gone wild costs only 2.99 in this special Rifftrax offer!)

[XXX]

Ok, Now we see, (Vlp) Wha-what in the holy mother of hell?! Maybe something random, possibly involving animal porn? I'm actually wigging it.

[Prime Evil]

Pretty good, but remember what the great Bard said: Brevity is the soul of wit.

The (mis)adventure continues...

SCENE FOUR (CONT'D.)

(--Koopa and Lena are in the hot tub.)

01:05 (LENA, to SPIKE/IGGY: Hello, morons.)
--Oooh, burn.

01:20 (KOOPA: Where's the rock?)
--I don't know, he's off making "The Scorpion King" or some other crap.

03:16 (GRANNY falls into the taxicab)
--Oh look--another episode of "When Grandma Goes Berserk." (or something--improvise)

03:55 (Close-up on BIG BERTHA)
--Uh...Georgina Foreman???

04:25 (TOAD'S anti-Koopa song)
--Well, he's no Rick Astley... (explain the joke if prompted--Rick Astley and Mojo Nixon were fierce rivals back in the '80s)

06:16 (SHYGUY sprays CO2 down Mario's pants)
--Ohh, major shrinkage. (*audible wince*)

07:36 (MARIO: "Tension")
--Or pension--the real reason Bob and Dennis are in this mess.

08:41 (KOOPA: "Larry Lazard...")
--He and his cronies probably came from the same firm as 'Dewey, Soakem, and Howe'.

09:30 (KOOPA attacks Luigi's face)
--(WATCH YOUR TIMING!!) Heal! Heal! Out, demons, OUT! (in televangelist accent)

09:59 ("Take them to the devo chamber")
--And whip 'em! Whip 'em good!

CHAPTER 5

01:31 ("Tyrannosaurus Rex...")
--He can't be too popular among the Silurian crowd.

06:46 (the cop-cars explode spectacularly)
--Idiots.

07:00 ("Glug-glug-glug...")
--They said as they entered the bar.

08:15 ("superior driving skills")
-- (a la Brosnan!Bond) I'd give that dive a three, actually.

09:08 ("They're your relatives")
--Ooh, snap.

09:15 ("Have her cleaned up")
--Is he supposed to be a reptilian Howard Hughes or something?

11:33 ("One-hundred-ninety-one")
--(*checks with calculator*) He's right...one of the few things they actually did some research on!

[Prime Evil]

CHAPTER 6

02:01 (on Yoshi's feet)
--Dino? Oh, wait, wrong movie.

02:14 (Koopa appears)
--Uh-oh, here comes trouble.

03:39 ("So fresh...so clean")
--Back off, "Perv Griffin!" (like "Merv Griffin")

04:17 ("kissed by a lizard")
--That's why King Koopa trusts only Crelm Toothpaste! (Monty Python reference)

04:41 (Iggy w/binoculars, looking at shirtless Luigi)
--Oh, great, just what we need...*another* pervert.

05:56 ("take over both our worlds")
--(all, in unison) "OF COURSE!" (a la M. Bison)

CHAPTER 7

02:15 (the "dance of the hours" begins)
--Hoo boy...this is...awkward...I can't look!

CHAPTER 8

03:06 ("glug-glug-glug")
--Skoal.

07:00 (Lena and Yoshi's tongue)
--Not the mama! Not the mama! (a la Baby Sinclair)

[Prime Evil]

Looks like interest in this has died. That's okay; I lost interest too.

[1upmushroom]

It didn't die. In fact its still going on!

[Prime Evil]

It didn't die. In fact its still going on!

I hope so, because I was watching the last third of it last week and I thought, "Oh, God save us, I can't riff anymore." Maybe tomorrow I'll think differently.