REVIEW: Well...What did you expect?

[Drake_Clawfang]

7 out of 10 stars

Okay, this was based on a VI-DE-O GAME! Look at how most of the movies based on games have turned out! If you think this movie was lame, well again, what were you expecting, Titanic? Leo DiCaprio? Well, as it is, this movie, apart from characters and references, isn't that much like the Mario games. But hey, the games were pretty much Mario/Luigi jumping on giant turtles, and various other things. So hey, like that would work as a movie! Considering what they had to work with, they did a good job here.

See, we all know that the dinosaurs went extinct some 65 million years ago when a huge meteorite struck Earth, right? Wrong! When the meteorite hit, it created a parallel dimension, and the dinos continue to evolve into human-like beings. Now, for the most part, Dino Land was a fun place. Then Koopa developed the power to 'de-evolve' things. He wasted no time in de-evolving the King into primordial fungus, and making himself dictator. Anyone who opposes him gets de-evolved into a Goomba. Now, under Koopa's rule, 20 years later, Dino Land is in a bad way. Few resources, limited food, fungus everywhere, and robbery and thievery run rampant. Good thing King K. has a plan to bail out his little town.

See, when he took power 2 decades ago, the Queen fled to a vortex that leads from Dino Land to Brooklyn. She took with her an egg (reptiles, remember?) containing her child, Daisy. The Queen dies sealing the vortex, but luckily, the kid is entrusted to some nuns. With the egg comes a tiny shard of crystal. See, the meteorite that slammed Earth so many years ago is in Dino Lan. This crystal is a shard of it that broke off on impact, protected by the royal family. And guess what? If it were to be inserted back into the meteorite, the dimensions would merge together. Problem is, the energy that would be released upon insertion would be enormous, and only a member of the royal family would be able to withstand it. Getting Koopa's plan here? You guessed it: snag the shard, kidnap Daisy, merge the dimensions, de-evolve us, and take over our world. Boom, Dino Land's problems are solved! And yeah, Mankind will be a bunch of apes and monkeys, but Lizardkind will be living on easy street, so too bad for us!

Not the best filmyou'll ever see, but a fun little gig. Just try and spot all the in-game references here! Yoshi, Super Mushrooms, the Goombas...the garbage men wear masks that resemble Snifits, and the cops, I believe in one scene, are referred to as Koopa Troopers. Big Bertha? Like the Cannon-like enemy in Super Mario RPG? Notice the Bullet-Bill like cartridges that power the Stomper Shoes? Or did you catch that sign over the tunnel that read 'Koopahari Desert?' I personally loved the final battle against Koopa, mirroring the boss battles in Mario Brothers (Koopa vs. Mario on a bridge, shooting fireballs) and Super Mario World (Koopa suspended overhead in his bucket). A pity Magikoopa couldn't have been fit in somewhere. And I would have liked to see Koopa's Airship. But hey, what can ya do? I would have also liked to have seen a sequel, but since it's been 10 years, probably not. Oh well. Take this film as it is: watch it, and have fun.

[Prime Evil]

I for one know this is a bad movie, but I still consider it better than Titanic.

[YoshiWrangler]

At least he didn't say "What did you expect... Shakespeare!" Man, that line's overused.
And why are we still talking about Titanic anyway? The ship sank, get over it!