Scripts

 


 

2011-09-13

Dated April 17 1992, this draft by Ed Solomon and Ryan Rowe is very, very similar to the finished film, but contains an intriguing number of changes, most notably in the introduction to "Dinoyawk" and the climax of the film. It seems like the two were trying to solidify what elements they wanted for the film, reducing or increasing roles as necessary - rendering some roles so small that it's a wonder they're even name-dropped, (Hark, Bloober and Wart show up, but they don't do a darn thing besides get mentioned in the script directions), while also chucking in any new ideas they had on the side - some of which would not last into the next draft, it seems.

Mario and Luigi seem to have been buckled down to their final characterisation - Mario is a plumbing-passionate Brooklynite with a heart of gold and a keen eye for handiwork, while Luigi is a wistful dreamer who's embarrassed about being a plumber, but slowly gains respect for the family business. It's hard to determine where Daisy's character development lies, as she's been stricken with an unfortunate ailment that significantly lessens her input on the story: the meteorite pendant on her neck was what kept her alive in the 'human' dimension, as being separated from her home dimension weakened her. This is then immediately contradicted by her growing weaker without the pendant even while in Koopa's dimension. There's a number of ways one could speculate how this works, but that would simply be covering the writers' asses.

Koopa's characterisation takes a strange blow. Although still the main villain, he appears toned down to appear less 'evil' than in the previous drafts. His attempt to hypnotically seduce Daisy isn't quite as unsettling as before, and seeing him devote some affection towards his pet, Yoshi, gives us a slightly sweeter side of the character. If there's a good shorthand for how threatening he is, rather than de-evolving into the frightening wall-crawling beast of the older scripts, he's turned into a four-foot-tall nigh-harmless reptile at the end. Lena, meanwhile, has a much greater lust for power and and a no-nonsense approach to accomplishing her objectives. She doesn't waste any time putting them into action: she doesn't doolally taking the pendant from Mario in the nightclub, and she clearly enjoys preparing to kill Daisy, creating a much more imposing image.

Iggy and Spike get some very intriguing changes and highlights, mostly regarding their offbeat appearances. They've been 'graced' with kooky Cockney accents, for a start, though only one line of dialogue is spelt phonetically to emphasise this. The de-evolution procedure is utilised more, first to make them more intelligent, and again to turn them into dribbling idiots... which feels like an unfortunate way for the characters to go. Likewise, Toad shows up, now renamed Lemmy and with exactly the same role as the finished film... except the "ally Goomba" twist has been strangely dropped, leaving Daisy with no one to mingle with besides the villains until her eventual rescue, and 'Lemmy' with a very unsubstantial role.

There are a number of intriguingly obscure references to the game - the entrance to Dinoyawk not only has giant air suction ducts (a funky interpretation of the warp pipes), but also an invisible wall that blocks their path - an abstract reference to the left edge of the screen from the first game? Likewise, the police station has a selection of numbered doors, a possible allusion to the numbered warp zone pipes. Piranha Plants (renamed Piranha Flowers) make a couple of appearances, and the Bob-Ombs remain, though are now described as a "crab-like device". Even the breakable blocks make a small, easily-missed appearance as the brothers escape from the nightclub, with Bob-Ombs popping out of the bricks as the two leap out of the building. There are a few namedrops thrown into dialogue here and there, as well as a few omissions from previous drafts to remove references to the game.

It's a well-written script with some great narrative and dialogue; it's just a shame a lot of the best bits are in the script directions! Some of the elements are finally polished to a T, while some parts seem unnecessarily modified seemingly just for the sake of it. It's getting ever closer to the finished film, and there are some intriguing ideas that would've been intriguing to see on film if just for the curiosity factor.

The opening plays out identically to the finished film. Daisy's mother drops her off at a church's doorstep and is pursued by Koopa into the underground tunnel, where she strikes a support beam and lets herself be swallowed by a rockslide.

We meet Mario and Luigi in their apartment as they get a call about a broken water heater at a café and prepare to head out. This extends on some dialogue from the finished film, and emphasises the history of the family business - the furniture is all "old-person" with photos of their father and grandfather (both with handlebar moustaches). The two drive out and Luigi uses his instinct to take a shortcut (to Mario's chagrin: "Mario just glares at Luigi, twitching his moustache fast. That means Mario-anger."), but are beaten to the punch by two of the Canelli Construction crew members, Mike and Doug. The restaurant owner chooses them over the brothers, even though the Marios claim they could have the job done in two hours. The two order spaghetti to console themselves.

A bone dig is taking place near the east river (the Brooklyn Bridge isn't namedropped in this draft) where Eddie Canelli wants the palaeontologists out so he can start on his construction project, and begins threatening Daisy. She heads over to the café so she can phone the college professor about this, and is tailed by Iggy and Spike ("Both have long, gaunt faces, and an unnatural pallor to their skin. [...] Their clothes look brand new-- in fact, the price tags are still on. And Spike's blazer still has the plastic slipcover on it. These guys aren't from these parts. [...] They speak with thick cockney accents."). Luigi admires her as she uses the phone, though after using it she slips on water from the water heater, prompting him to try and help her, but she ends up just falling on top of him. Knowing Luigi is entranced with her, Mario tries to get the two closer together by offering her a lift back to the dig site, but Luigi's too shy to say anything afterward.

Mario and Daniella go out for dinner, and Daisy is invited on Luigi's behalf. Daisy talks briefly about her crystal pendant, saying she refuses to take it off as the last time she did, she felt so weak and tired. Luigi and Daisy go for a walk to the dig site while Mario drops Daniella home, who is kidnapped from her home by Iggy and Spike. Daisy and Luigi admire the tunnel full of fossils at the site, but a flash flood starts as two of Canelli's men are seen fleeing.
Luigi darts off to get Mario, though as the two are working on the valves, Iggy and Spike return to knock them out and cart Daisy away. The brothers follow them deeper into the tunnel, where Daisy cries for Luigi from within a rock wall; he grabs her pendant before she's dragged back in. They discover that the wall only becomes "fluid" when a certain part of the chamber is hit or stood upon; Luigi gets through fine, but Mario is stuck halfway in the wall until he uses a tape measure to let himself through.

The portal leads to a fifty-foot catwalk suspended over a huge metallic rock inside of a cavern. After they wonder where they are ("Did we die? Is this hell?" "No. If this was hell... there'd be accordion music.") they witness Iggy, Spike and Daisy being sucked up by a large duct. Before the brothers can reach it, they're stopped by an invisible wall (the script dubs it a "Nothing Wall") that requires they "state your voting preference for our elected tyrranical [sic] dictator" before entering. By uttering nonsense words, they eventually gain entrance by saying "Koopa."

The air duct carries them into Koopa Square where they see Daisy being carted away, but a parade honouring Koopa suddenly begins, hindering the chase. A limousine monster truck rolls in and Daisy is shoved inside, while four Goombas hop out to pummel the brothers senseless before hopping back in. Defeated, the two are approached by a sweet old lady who then proceeds to mug their only possession - the pendant. Then things get interesting.
"The Old Lady turns to run-- but is robbed by two TEENAGE THUGS... who in turn are robbed by a BIKER CHICK, who is knocked off her bike by two KIDS WITH HOCKEY STICKS... who are then held up by a gang of WHEELCHAIR-BOUND MEN... who's [sic] leader is then stopped by-- The MEANEST, TOUGHEST LOOKING WOMAN EVER, wearing spikes and chains and black leather. This is... BERTHA. Bertha yanks the Old Leader out of his chair, jerks him over her head and shakes him, making his loot rain down. Then she tosses him out into heavy traffic. SCREEEECH." Bertha then leaps away using a pair of Air Stompers.

In Koopa's Tower, Koopa feeds his pet Yoshi strips of lizard meat while discussing the downward spiral of their world to Lena, his horny secretary. If he can get Daisy's pendant, he'll change things around here, and is upset when Iggy and Spike haul her in without the pendant, calling for the incarceration of all plumbers. Daisy is thrown in a cell with Daniella and the missing Brooklyn girls, and she's noticeably weak and exhausted now that she's missing her pendant.

Street musician Lemmy (a renamed Toad) cheers up the brothers with an anti-Koopa song but is promptly arrested, along with the plumbers; after a humiliating de-fungus process, the group are jailed. The brothers argue about how they got into this mess, while Lemmy shares his theory that the fungus enveloping the city is actually the de-evolved remains of the old ruler, King Murphy. Koopa, pretending to be a lawyer, visits Mario and Luigi and demands to know where the pendant is, but when they don't cooperate, he takes them to the de-evolution chamber. Lemmy is subjected to the de-evolution procedure to try and spur them into talking. Mario batters a Goomba with a wrench and forces him into the chair, starting the de-evolution process, and a scuffle ensues - the de-evolved Goomba rises after the process and is about to throttle Mario's neck, but "dissolves into a puddle of gelatinous goo" before it can achieve that. Koopa slips on the goo and is also run through the devo process, allowing the brothers to escape to the police parking lot; on the way they steal the possessions of the now-gelatinous Goomba while Luigi finds a flower in the fungus lining the walls, and takes it.

They steal a car and flee from the fireball-shooting police, eventually leaving the city's power guide and enter a blocked-off tunnel lined with fungus. The tunnel ends at a sudden drop and the car plummets over the side, though the fungus serves as a bungee cord and gently plops them on the desert below. Koopa is informed that the brothers' escaped through the tunnel and, because of the drop, assumes they are dead. Koopa and Lena discuss the plans regarding Daisy and her pendant, and Lena is frustrated at the implication that Daisy is more important than her in the grand scheme of things. He then gloats to the mound of fungus in a private chamber (King Murphy, mentioned earlier in Lemmy's theory) before rounding up his crew to inform them of the Mario brothers' assured demise after the 200-foot drop.

A Goomba (Hark, who otherwise does nothing else in this script) takes Daisy to Koopa's suite. Yoshi meets Daisy and despite her initial fear, the two seem to get on well. Koopa shows up to flirt and dump exposition on her, about the meteorite, the sub-dimensions and Daisy's mother ("She held an elite position in our society, a guardian of the Gateway-- a Gate Keeper-- until she betrayed that trust. She sensed the total depletion of our limited resources, and wanted a better life for you. So she took you to the other side. But she left the Gateway open. That's how I could bring you back. And that's how I could get [the egg]."), and about her pendant ("You're weak, because the pendant is the source of your energy. It's how you survive on the other side. Without it, you'll wither, and die.")
Iggy and Spike intrude and are told to retrieve the pendant from the brothers, but after misinterpreting Koopa's orders to "mop up the desert," he throws them into the de-evolution chamber. The duo's mental capacity is increased, resulting in some hilarious script descriptions. "They are essentially the same... only different. Their clothes are tighter. On Spike, what was a scarf is now an ascot. On Iggy, what were dumb glasses now is a tiny monocle. And they both have trendy goatees. They have the pinched, down-the-nose smirk of the snottiest upper-classmen you've ever seen. And their lower class cockney accents have been replaced with the loftiest of upper-crust dialects. Even Mother Theresa'd kick the shit out of these dips. See, they've been made realllly smart." "Spike and Iggy may be a lot smarter-- but their [sic] still the biggest pussies this side of the Gateway."

Mario and Luigi talk about their lives while in the desert, Mario explaining he'd love to marry Daniella, and Luigi wishes he knew what his direction was in life, as he's discontented with plumbing. Iggy and Spike spy them, but are spotted and try to flee in a makeshift motorbike; the brothers grab them and hold them threateningly close to a pair of Piranha Flowers, demanding some answers. The brothers reveal they don't have the pendant, and the lackeys explain that without the pendant, Daisy will die. Spike eventually identifies Bertha as the woman who stole the pendant (after a few false guesses: "Rip van Flesh? Wendy O. Koopa? Spark? Trouter? Porcupo?"), and after hijacking a garbage truck, the four make it to the club where she hangs out, the Koopa Kabana. Borrowing the old suits from Iggy and Spike ("[...] they wear a lot of chunky turquoise jewelry and look like Aztec pimps."), the group enter and spy Bertha. Mario woos her by praising her punching prowess and eventually gets the pendant in the middle of a slow dance, only for Lena and her Goombas to enter. The pendant is taken from them in their attempt to flee, though Bertha helps the brothers escape through the roof by fitting them with Air Stompers and leaves them these words: "Stop Koopa-- and restore the fungus." Lena leaves, but not without taking the seriously-drunk Iggy and Spike with her and throwing them in the de-evolution chamber, this time turning them into garbage-chewing dimwits.

The brothers arrive outside Koopa's Tower and find their way to the boiler room, where they use a fire hose, a heat exchanger and a stool inside a pipe to create an improvised elevator, totally messing up the building's heating system. Meanwhile, Lena, who has hidden the pendant from Koopa, visits Daisy and tries to stab her with a pin, but Yoshi stops her and gives Daisy the chance to flee. Daisy takes a turn down a fungus-lined corridor and the floor caves in beneath her, landing her in a room positively layered in fungus. Lena drives the pin into Yoshi and leaves. Mario and Luigi arrive at their stop and cross a huge shaft using a hook and a fungus trampoline, and find Daisy trapped in the fungus room. Luigi has reason to believe the fungus is alive and decides to reason with it. The fungus heeds his command and lets Daisy go, and she informs Mario that Daniella is among the kidnapped girls.
Lena has left the building and gone towards the portal chamber, preparing to merge the worlds and has deployed the Goombas as her strike force; Koopa was not informed of this and is quite miffed. He discovers the princess and the plumbers leaving the fungus room, and captures Daisy and Luigi - Mario is left to run on his own to find the Brooklyn girls. On the way he encounters Iggy and Spike tumbling out of the de-evolution chamber, so regressed they can barely pronounce each others' names; Mario relays them his plan, which requires the two to go outside. Mario finds the Brooklyn girls' cell and, using a mattress and a frosted-over pipe, sled their way down until they reach a grate, where they leap down onto a garbage truck driven by Iggy and Spike - all part of the plan.

Koopa, Daisy, Luigi and his goons are driven into the city on the limousine monster truck and they all make their way to the portal chamber, where they find Lena inserting the pendant into the meteorite. Elements of both worlds begin to mix, most notably the Goombas appearing at a New York toll booth and de-evolving the Canelli plumbers Mike and Doug into chimps. Mario uses this brief merging of worlds to get the girls into a cab to take them to Brooklyn, but before going after Luigi, he proposes to Daniella for her hand in marriage; she accepts. The dimensional energy is too much for Lena, and she is embedded into the far wall, fossilized, but the energy actually gives Daisy her strength back. She, Luigi and Koopa get into a scrap, when Mario arrives.
Daisy and Luigi go down to the meteorite to try and remove it, while Mario faces off against Koopa. He uses all the tools he's picked up along the way, to no great effect, until he uses the fungus flower Luigi picked up - it's hit by Koopa's devo gun, and it de-evolves into a Piranha Flower. While Koopa is distracted by the murderous plant, Mario grabs the devo gun and blasts him with it. Just at that moment, Luigi and Daisy remove the pendant from the meteorite, and the merging of the worlds is cancelled. Satisfied that Koopa is defeated, the fungus recedes and allows the plant life to return to the city, and we discover in Koopa's Tower, the old throne of King Murphy was buried beneath the fungi.

Things are busy in Brooklyn as Eddie Canelli hogs the news cameras regarding the brief merging, but a de-evolved Koopa (who looks exactly like Yoshi) scampers in and "carries him kicking, screaming, and totally ignored, back down into the tunnel" (this is comic relief, apparently!). The taxi with the Brooklyn girls arrives, and they thank the Mario brothers for their rescue. Mario, Luigi and Daisy emerge from the tunnel and are hounded by reporters. Mario downplays the fact he's just overthrown a sub-dimensional dictator; he says he's just doing his job. "Well... lemme put it this way. No matter what it is, no matter where it is, no matter what time of day... we can unclog it. Grime, grease. Even your alternate dimension reptilian dictator. You know why? Cause we're the Mario Brothers..."

Two weeks later, Luigi and Daisy get married, along with Mario and Daniella. They're awarded with a spruced-up new van, and they are approached by two Japanese businessmen, who want the rights to their adventure for a video game. "Luigi, a good man one told me... Anything can happen."


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